going away?

A couple people have asked why I've posted very little recently. Some probably think I've quietly faded into the night. That almost happened, but that time is apparently not quite yet.

I won't go into personal details but I came face to face with my own mortality three months ago. I had not felt well for some months and became violently ill in early September. Coincidentally I already had a doctor appointment scheduled. Within an hour of that appointment I was in the emergency room having a CT scan. The results of that scan indicated I may have a life threatening condition. 

I had emergency abdominal surgery that night. The next morning the doctor said what they thought they saw wasn't there after all. That was the good news. The bad news was they didn't know what was wrong. The next week was spent in the hospital with one day full of unforeseen complications. It was that evening I realized things were not going well.

It was during that night that I came to realize the faith I had for so long was really true. It's something I had always known but there was a quiet assurance that, no matter what happened, it was going to be all right.

You hear people talk about an epiphany, seeing the light or hearing voices. There was none of that. The nurse came in the next morning and asked why I felt so much better. It was as though I lay in that hospital room during the night with my mind playing sermons I'd heard over the years. I can still hear 1 John 4:4 even now, "the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.." 

It can be a pretty amazing feeling when you know that no matter what the future holds, your future is secure. I have to say it's also amazing when you live to tell about it. I am moved to tears even now to think about that time.

I still have days when I don't feel well, but I've gained some of the weight I lost and am becoming more active. One thing I do know; I will never look at life, or death, in quite the same way. I've said that before but this experience gives a different perspective. Much of what used to be important, really isn't. 

So here we are three days before Christmas. I think of my church, my faith, family and friends. I can't think of anything else I could ever need. As I have often said, when we think we have hit bottom, that may be our feet touching our foundation. That can be a pretty cool feeling, pretty cool indeed. The question becomes, how strong is our foundation?