Tuesday, August 26, 2008

August 25, 2008

My birthday was yesterday. As a treat, Melanie took me to see Mama Mia this afternoon. Being the ABBA fan that I am, I thought this movie was absolutely wonderful.

As I listened to Meryl Streep singing Waterloo, I found myself wondering why my German rendition of Waterloo wasn't that big a hit at one of the Christmas parties last year. I asked myself if it could be a lack of talent, but of course I quickly realized what a silly thought that was.

There will be another name to remember during the Transgender Day of Remembrance November 20th. Angie Zapata was found murdered in her Greely, CO apartment last month. Donna Rose spoke at the vigil and wrote of it more eloquently than I possibly could. Read it here.

For every battered body, we will never know the number of battered souls who are bullied or harrassed. As I've written often, it's not only transgender or gay people. It's anyone who is harrassed for no reason other than who they are.

People sometimes talk about the transgender lifestyle, or the gay lifestyle or any lifestyle which deviates from the perceived 'norm', as though it were a choice. Would any sane person choose to live a life in which they have to hide the core of who they are from the rest of the world? Who would choose a life that could mean losing everyone they care about?

How ironic that to gain self respect, some must first lose everything. This is the reality for many in our community.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

August 24, 2008

Melanie felt well enough to come to church this morning. She's missed lately due to all the surgery. Everyone was glad to have her back.

My good friend, Angela Brightfeather is vice president of Transgender American Veterans Association. I became very acquainted with the president, Monica Helms during Angela's Educational Initiative in Charlotte at the HRC gala this past February. Both these ladies are the real deal. They have my utmost respect.

There has been a White Paper prepared on the state of transgender veterans affairs for TAVA and the Palm Center at The University of California, Santa Barbara. Angela sent me a copy of this survey in pdf format last week. You can visit The Transgender American Veterans website and read the entire survey. For anyone so inclined, click on 'survey results' and you will see a link to the pdf file.

When we hear of veterans in general who are receiving neither the treatment nor the respect they deserve, it comes as no surprise transgender veterans would be no exception. HRC ran a 'backstory' piece on the survey which you can read here. Angela also let me know a copy of this survey has been placed in the hands of certain members of congress who will be on the floor at the Democratic National Convention in CO this coming week and are members of The House Committee on Veterans' Affairs.

Angela and I go back many years, more than we sometimes admit. We don't always agree, but we have agreed more than once the respect we share will never go away. When you have the common roots we do, it becomes almost like blood.

This survey shows us again there will never be a shortage of injustices or causes in the quest for human dignity. It becomes natural most of our focus is on transgender issues, but it goes far deeper than even that.

Human dignity is the one cause that must never take a back seat to any group or person. I get nuts when I see self promotion become more important than the common goal. Angela knows I was not speaking of her in my remarks on leadership in the previous post. If you happen to read this and wonder if I am talking about you, I probably am.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

August 16, 2008

Melanie had surgery on her right knee this past Wednesday. I spoke with the surgeon and this one seems to have turned out better than the left knee on June 21. She's home resting, but feeling a lot of pain. The partial replacement of the left knee will likely happen soon. The poor girl is running out of knees.

My dear friend Lori Anne is again video blogging on Youtube. In view of the broken marriages and what often place between families and friends, this is worth viewing. Relationships do not have to dissolve merely because a person decided to become a whole person, rather than just walking through life. You can see it here.

There is occasional discussion in the community about leadership and activism. I think they have commonalities, but are not necessarily the same.

Is a leader not someone who sets an example for others by the way he/she treats others?

To be first, one must first become the least. To be looked up to, one must first be looked down upon. We speak of our abhorring labels. Yet, some of us may seek the label of 'leader', which is perhaps the least desired label of all. It is in embracing the term that we may become least effective as a genuine leader.

In large measure, it is part of the eternal conundrum. The greater our quest, whether through a misplaced sense of altruism or self promotion, the less our chance becomes of providing what our world needs, people who can lift up each other, rather than talking down to them; people who can look someone in the eye and tell them it really is okay to be who they are, rather than talking about their own accomplishments.

Friday, August 08, 2008

August 8, 2008

Anyone who has known me more than five minutes also knows my dear friend Melanie. Each of us has a thing for Wizard of Oz. Five years ago, during my divorce and other issues, she gave me a pair of Ruby Slippers, as a reminder that your dreams really can come true.

During dinner the other night, she had a surprise, a Dorothy watch for each of us. On the face is Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road and a little ruby slipper charm hanging from the face. It's totally beyond cool. Not that anyone would necessarily want to, but you can see it here.

Melanie is having surgery on her right knee this coming Wednesday, after having surgery on the left knee last month. Even though she's home right now, people are still drawn to her for encouragement. It's quite amazing.

This coming September 20th in Charlotte is an LGBT Healthair sponsored by HRC. It will be an all encompassing event for the community. From a transgender perspective, we have a laser technician, an electrologist (some people think they are the same), a medical doctor and a psychologist. There are simultaneous events taking place in Greensboro and Raleigh.

I'm already taking a lot of criticism for working with HRC, even on the local level. A number of these people are my friends and I will always work with them.

There are so many pressing issues in the community. I understand about the HRC/ENDA debacle, but I see people using certain forums to advance their personal agenda. HRC seems to have become the topic du jour. I think it's to the point some people are playing a one note symphony. Maybe it's time to get the rest of the sheet music.

Charlotte Gender Alliance this past Saturday was one of the more energy filled meetings I've ever attended. We had 25 people for the meeting and 14 for dinner. As the group grows, we are going to need a larger meeting space and perhaps consider splitting into two groups, taking a break halfway through and then mingling into two new groups. That way everyone interacts with everyone else. This is not a problem or, if it is, it's the kind we like to have.