I've been listening to a lot of ABBA recently. I like music from that genre and ABBA has always been a favorite. "I Have A Dream" never made top of the charts, but when I listened the other day, I found it carried a poignant message for me personally. There are a number of versions, but this one is my favorite. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R3JAruiWm0
We visited our regular class at the university last week. The students are always a lot of fun. The Q&A is the part we look forward to. This time, we were asked a question that had not been discussed to the degree we did this week. A lady asked what God must think of what we do. The discussion became rather involved. Needless to say I told her God loved me so much He made me this way. I hope we at least let her leave with a more open mind.
Another question was totally unique. A young female student wanted to know if we could give her advice on how to become a judge in drag queen contests. That has been one of her dreams. I've known drag queens who are friends, but not being one myself, I and the others were not a lot of help. I thought of a t-shirt that might read, "I earned a four year degree and all I got to do was judge this lousy drag queen contest".
I don't normally talk a lot about my personal life in this blog. However, I think I have a hint of what it may have been like on The Titanic. I came home from work Friday before Memorial Day and water was outside the door. I opened the door to find a flooded apartment. A pipe had burst during the day and it was a disaster. The resident manager put me up in a hotel while they dried things out. They laid new carpet last week. Fortunately, I had minimal personal damage.
That evening, he came by to check on how things were. He's only been on this site a few weeks, but began talking to me about his partner and how they had been looking for domestic partner benefits, and found them here.
I shared with him some of the things I do with the 'T' part of the GLBT community. It was an interesting conversation. Something occurred to me. As a gay person, he is able to be out to the point he can apply for career positions and be open about very core of who he is. Domestic partner benefits is an obvious example. Things are not perfect, but their level of acceptance has taken major leap forward in recent years.
On the other hand, as transgender people, we have not reached that level of acceptance. Susan Stanton and a host of others are examples of that fact.
I believe the transgender community is at a singular point in time. Virtually every week the last few months, we have had positive press, a major talk show, the transgender character on All My Children, Susan Stanton and her dignified way of handling her situation, the recent article in Newsweek on the subject of gender and others.
It is my belief that one does not need to be an activist, as we normally define the term, to make a contribution. Each person has something to offer. I hope history will show this was our time to make that quantum leap forward.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Thursday, May 03, 2007
May 3, 2007
I have spoken often of my fond memories of The Washington-Baltimore Alliance, formerly The National Alliance. I received the email last week that I was afraid would soon come.
The WBA has officially disbanded as of the end of April. In one sense, it's the end of an era. Logically, we know all things change and evolve. The area is well served by TGEA and other groups. Of course, logic does not always determine how the heart feels.
I have a file cabinet full of letters and newsletters from that era of community development. They just became a lot more valuable to me personally. The former leaders of WBA will leave the website active with occasional postings of community events. I'm glad I was able to maintain contact with them as my own journey continued.
http://www.transgender.org/wba/
The Zoe character has not been on All My Children the past week. I heard the actor's contract ran out, although Zoe is still shown in the promos. I continue to DVR the program to watch in the evening. I'm only watching to see when Krystal finds her baby. It's not like I'm hooked on it, or anything. heh heh
Last weekend was one of the more interesting I've had in some time. I took part in an all day Saturday workshop presented by the leading manufacturer of laser technology. I am familiar with the principles of electrolysis, but much of laser theory is new to me.
The series of lectures were extremely interesting, and presented from the standpoint of those already in the field. Thus, it was an opportunity for education from a different perspective than I may normally be afforded.
Late in the day, we participated in hands on demonstrations. Laser is much more than hair removal, although it is naturally the focus of interest for most in the TG community. Certain machines serve different purposes. I was extremely impressed with the treatment of spider veins, as well as a skin tightening technique that is on a par with Thermage. Neither is equal to a surgical facelift, but for someone with no advanced signs of aging, it could be economically and aesthetically beneficial.
Insofar as hair removal, I remain with the opinion that electrolysis is more effective for the long term. As many know, the debate is sometimes heated. It has become clear that laser is here to stay. I found myself wondering how the technology will evolve during the next decade.
The WBA has officially disbanded as of the end of April. In one sense, it's the end of an era. Logically, we know all things change and evolve. The area is well served by TGEA and other groups. Of course, logic does not always determine how the heart feels.
I have a file cabinet full of letters and newsletters from that era of community development. They just became a lot more valuable to me personally. The former leaders of WBA will leave the website active with occasional postings of community events. I'm glad I was able to maintain contact with them as my own journey continued.
http://www.transgender.org/wba/
The Zoe character has not been on All My Children the past week. I heard the actor's contract ran out, although Zoe is still shown in the promos. I continue to DVR the program to watch in the evening. I'm only watching to see when Krystal finds her baby. It's not like I'm hooked on it, or anything. heh heh
Last weekend was one of the more interesting I've had in some time. I took part in an all day Saturday workshop presented by the leading manufacturer of laser technology. I am familiar with the principles of electrolysis, but much of laser theory is new to me.
The series of lectures were extremely interesting, and presented from the standpoint of those already in the field. Thus, it was an opportunity for education from a different perspective than I may normally be afforded.
Late in the day, we participated in hands on demonstrations. Laser is much more than hair removal, although it is naturally the focus of interest for most in the TG community. Certain machines serve different purposes. I was extremely impressed with the treatment of spider veins, as well as a skin tightening technique that is on a par with Thermage. Neither is equal to a surgical facelift, but for someone with no advanced signs of aging, it could be economically and aesthetically beneficial.
Insofar as hair removal, I remain with the opinion that electrolysis is more effective for the long term. As many know, the debate is sometimes heated. It has become clear that laser is here to stay. I found myself wondering how the technology will evolve during the next decade.
Monday, April 16, 2007
April 15, 2007
Former City Manager of Largo, FL, Susan Stanton was interviewed by Larry King Friday evening. The promos had said she had a significant announcement.
She said exactly what I was hoping she would, that she would NOT file suit against the city of Largo, FL for unlawful termination, even though her case was strong. She said "this is about education, not litigation". I thought to myself, "she gets it!".
With that statement, she demonstrated this is not about self promotion, money or fame. Like so many in our world, she came to the realization that to go on pretending to be something you are not will eventually take an ultimate toll. She also realized she cannot continue pretending to not be something she is.
Due to the unasked for visibility of her situation, Susan Stanton is in a unique position to educate the public not only about what it means to be transgendered, but to also demonstrate the message of forgiveness.
She has come to that point in life at which it is necessary to let go of certain situations and even people. She will no doubt find an infinitely broad array of situations to latch onto that will bring her the happiness she deserves.
I hope the day will come when I have the opportunity to shake her hand.
She said exactly what I was hoping she would, that she would NOT file suit against the city of Largo, FL for unlawful termination, even though her case was strong. She said "this is about education, not litigation". I thought to myself, "she gets it!".
With that statement, she demonstrated this is not about self promotion, money or fame. Like so many in our world, she came to the realization that to go on pretending to be something you are not will eventually take an ultimate toll. She also realized she cannot continue pretending to not be something she is.
Due to the unasked for visibility of her situation, Susan Stanton is in a unique position to educate the public not only about what it means to be transgendered, but to also demonstrate the message of forgiveness.
She has come to that point in life at which it is necessary to let go of certain situations and even people. She will no doubt find an infinitely broad array of situations to latch onto that will bring her the happiness she deserves.
I hope the day will come when I have the opportunity to shake her hand.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Easter Sunday
The last week has been filled with sadness in Charlotte, NC. Last Saturday evening, two Charlotte police officers were slain in the line of duty. There was a funeral Thursday and Good Friday.
Church was lovely this morning, as I knew it would be. While listening to the sermon and then partaking in communion, I thought back to the professor's words two weeks ago, "from ignorance comes fear, and from fear comes hatred.
This will remain one of the realities in a fallen world. From where then, do we find love? The answer lies in the message of Christ's resurrection. As with the Christmas message, once we accept our redemption, our view of ourselves and our world is forever changed.
The title of our pastor's sermon this morning was, 'Life Begins From Death'. Alleluia!
Church was lovely this morning, as I knew it would be. While listening to the sermon and then partaking in communion, I thought back to the professor's words two weeks ago, "from ignorance comes fear, and from fear comes hatred.
This will remain one of the realities in a fallen world. From where then, do we find love? The answer lies in the message of Christ's resurrection. As with the Christmas message, once we accept our redemption, our view of ourselves and our world is forever changed.
The title of our pastor's sermon this morning was, 'Life Begins From Death'. Alleluia!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
March 31, 2007
This past Tuesday evening, Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel spoke in Charlotte, NC. His topic: 'Against Indifference'.
At that hour, our small group was giving our semester presentation at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. In his opening remarks, the professor made reference to the fact that ignorance breeds fear, which breeds hate.
Largo city manager Steve/Susan Stanton was officially fired last week by the town council. Her years of exemplary service meant nothing once her true self became manifest.
Within the past two weeks, a transgender woman was murdered in San Francisco. Syndicated talk show host, Michael Savage called this woman a freak. He went on to say the students who commited the Columbine shootings, wearing black trench coats were influenced by Dr. Stanley Biber's medical practice in Trinidad, CO., which had become the 'sex change capitol of the United States'. As most know, Dr. Biber has passed away and Dr. Marci Bowers is now practicing in Trinidad, CO.
I read what Mr. Savage had said, but would not believe it until I heard it myself. I listened to the clip this evening. He said all that, and even worse. To link to his audio would give credence to a man who does not deserve credence.
It is being charitable to simply say this is a man whose ignorance has led to hate. It's unfortunate for him and for anyone who may take him seriously.
There is so much darkness in our world. What is to be done? Each of us can stand up for what we believe and perhaps most importantly, accept each other in the way we desire to be accepted.
At that hour, our small group was giving our semester presentation at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. In his opening remarks, the professor made reference to the fact that ignorance breeds fear, which breeds hate.
Largo city manager Steve/Susan Stanton was officially fired last week by the town council. Her years of exemplary service meant nothing once her true self became manifest.
Within the past two weeks, a transgender woman was murdered in San Francisco. Syndicated talk show host, Michael Savage called this woman a freak. He went on to say the students who commited the Columbine shootings, wearing black trench coats were influenced by Dr. Stanley Biber's medical practice in Trinidad, CO., which had become the 'sex change capitol of the United States'. As most know, Dr. Biber has passed away and Dr. Marci Bowers is now practicing in Trinidad, CO.
I read what Mr. Savage had said, but would not believe it until I heard it myself. I listened to the clip this evening. He said all that, and even worse. To link to his audio would give credence to a man who does not deserve credence.
It is being charitable to simply say this is a man whose ignorance has led to hate. It's unfortunate for him and for anyone who may take him seriously.
There is so much darkness in our world. What is to be done? Each of us can stand up for what we believe and perhaps most importantly, accept each other in the way we desire to be accepted.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
3/18/07
Following up on the transgendered character introduced on All My Children, ABC has posted a look behind the scenes. A clip of an interview with Jenny Boylan is included. You must let the 30 second commercial play before getting to the heart of it. This is show biz, after all.
http://abc.go.com/fsp/index.html?channel=AMCPodcast
http://abc.go.com/fsp/index.html?channel=AMCPodcast
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
The WBA
No, the WBA does not stand for 'World Boxing Association'. In the body of my website, there is a link to The Washington-Baltimore Alliance. This is where I got my frst measure of support all those many years ago. The name may have changed a couple times and the people are different, but the purpose remains. I receive their monthly newsletter and am able to continue to keep up with what's taking place in the group.
There is an interesting article in today's issue of The Baltimore City Paper with certain members of the WBA interviewed. We may have a long ways to go, but the closet doors have definitely opened, or more accurately, been forced open by courageous people. Below is the link.
http://www.citypaper.com/news/story.asp?id=13393
There is an interesting article in today's issue of The Baltimore City Paper with certain members of the WBA interviewed. We may have a long ways to go, but the closet doors have definitely opened, or more accurately, been forced open by courageous people. Below is the link.
http://www.citypaper.com/news/story.asp?id=13393
Sunday, March 11, 2007
March 11, 2007
I suppose I was destined to begin watching a soap opera. The transgendered character recently introduced on All My Children has begun her transition in earnest. I set my DVR to record all the programs. Thank goodness for the fast forward button to zip past the commercials.
The TG character, Zoe attended her first support group meeting this past Friday. Aside from the actor playing Zoe, the support group members are all transgendered men and women. The group is facilitated by Jenny Boylan, author of 'She's Not There'. When I learned Jenny Boylan would be a regular, I knew it would be well done. It's good to see a program presenting the community in a positive way. As I watched, it reminded me of some groups I've been part of. Incidentally, the one transman in the group had a small part in the movie 'Transamerica'.
I did think Zoe was a bit overly dramatic when the endocrinologist explained possible side effects of hormones. Then I reminded myself, it's a soap opera; it's supposed to be overly dramatic. So I suppose a certain allowance must be made.
Everyone in the TG community has heard about the events of the last couple weeks in Largo, FL. For those reading this who are are not aware, Steve Stanton, city manager of the city came out as transsexual and announced his plans to transition. After a tumultuous meeting, the city council voted to fire him.
Events like this one drive home the point that much work remains to be done in gaining the acceptance each individual deserves. Someone described this situation as a lightning rod for transgender rights. That is well stated.
The irony is Susan Stanton has been well respected for her competency. Only when she allowed her true self to become manifest, was she ostracized. Many activists are converging on this city. There could be both pros and cons to that, but suffice it to say, this will have lasting repercussions.
What really makes some of us crazy is the fact a local Baptist minister made the statement that, "if Jesus was here, I guarantee, He would want him terminated". That is so asinine as to deserve neither comment nor attention. I mention it because his statement was carried by the media. Perhaps that is a good thing, in that it shows the ignorance and prejudice that continues to exist in this world.
For the latest on this, visit http://www.savestanton.com/home
The TG character, Zoe attended her first support group meeting this past Friday. Aside from the actor playing Zoe, the support group members are all transgendered men and women. The group is facilitated by Jenny Boylan, author of 'She's Not There'. When I learned Jenny Boylan would be a regular, I knew it would be well done. It's good to see a program presenting the community in a positive way. As I watched, it reminded me of some groups I've been part of. Incidentally, the one transman in the group had a small part in the movie 'Transamerica'.
I did think Zoe was a bit overly dramatic when the endocrinologist explained possible side effects of hormones. Then I reminded myself, it's a soap opera; it's supposed to be overly dramatic. So I suppose a certain allowance must be made.
Everyone in the TG community has heard about the events of the last couple weeks in Largo, FL. For those reading this who are are not aware, Steve Stanton, city manager of the city came out as transsexual and announced his plans to transition. After a tumultuous meeting, the city council voted to fire him.
Events like this one drive home the point that much work remains to be done in gaining the acceptance each individual deserves. Someone described this situation as a lightning rod for transgender rights. That is well stated.
The irony is Susan Stanton has been well respected for her competency. Only when she allowed her true self to become manifest, was she ostracized. Many activists are converging on this city. There could be both pros and cons to that, but suffice it to say, this will have lasting repercussions.
What really makes some of us crazy is the fact a local Baptist minister made the statement that, "if Jesus was here, I guarantee, He would want him terminated". That is so asinine as to deserve neither comment nor attention. I mention it because his statement was carried by the media. Perhaps that is a good thing, in that it shows the ignorance and prejudice that continues to exist in this world.
For the latest on this, visit http://www.savestanton.com/home
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Christmas
The day before Christmas Eve is one of my favorites. The following two days are always busy. Today seems like a quieter time to enjoy the season, the music and the message.
I saw the bumper sticker today, "Let Peace Begin With Me".
I began thinking of the Christmas songs we hear each year. We sing, "next year, all our troubles will be miles away". But we sang the same song last year and the years before that. Yet, our troubles remain as close as the next moment.
We sing of "Peace on Earth", but we know peace will only come upon our final day of judgment.
Where then do we find the peace of which we sing, or the freedom from trouble which we desire? As with all things in life that truly count, a peaceful heart will only come from within.
Peace will come when we accept ourselves as unique individuals, each with our unique blessing.
Peace will come when we accept others without prejudice of any kind, not merely a tacit acceptance to which we pay lip service, but acceptance without reservation or condition.
Peace from within will often require making a stand for what we know to be right, knowing it may not be popular with coworkers or friends.
Peace may entail becoming an advocate for those unable to speak for themselves. The needs are many.
Peace will not come by self promotion, or allowing our deeds to give us an inflated sense of importance.
Ultimately, peace will come when we accept the true message of Christmas, "For unto you is born this day, in the City of David, a Savior, which is Christ The Lord".
Once we accept the real meaning of Christmas, our view of the world, and ourselves is forever changed. At the very least, there can be "pockets of peace".
As the bumper sticker said, "Let peace begin with me".
I saw the bumper sticker today, "Let Peace Begin With Me".
I began thinking of the Christmas songs we hear each year. We sing, "next year, all our troubles will be miles away". But we sang the same song last year and the years before that. Yet, our troubles remain as close as the next moment.
We sing of "Peace on Earth", but we know peace will only come upon our final day of judgment.
Where then do we find the peace of which we sing, or the freedom from trouble which we desire? As with all things in life that truly count, a peaceful heart will only come from within.
Peace will come when we accept ourselves as unique individuals, each with our unique blessing.
Peace will come when we accept others without prejudice of any kind, not merely a tacit acceptance to which we pay lip service, but acceptance without reservation or condition.
Peace from within will often require making a stand for what we know to be right, knowing it may not be popular with coworkers or friends.
Peace may entail becoming an advocate for those unable to speak for themselves. The needs are many.
Peace will not come by self promotion, or allowing our deeds to give us an inflated sense of importance.
Ultimately, peace will come when we accept the true message of Christmas, "For unto you is born this day, in the City of David, a Savior, which is Christ The Lord".
Once we accept the real meaning of Christmas, our view of the world, and ourselves is forever changed. At the very least, there can be "pockets of peace".
As the bumper sticker said, "Let peace begin with me".
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
December 19, 2006
This is the time of year when a project called Room In The Inn is quite active. Various churches, including ours, take in homeless neighbors for a night to provide a good meal and a warm bed. For those who prepare a meal, or act as servers, it's a small contribution which probably has as much meaning to the volunteer as it does the recipient.
It was good to hear a local television station is taking part by collecting donations.
During a recent cold snap, the Charlotte Urban Ministry was short 1000 beds. A local church opened it's doors and took in 200 women.
Clearly, the need remains greater than the resources. The effort gets most attention in winter months, especially around Christmas. The problem is year round.
Last night was the Time Out Youth meeting, which included GenderSpace. I have said before how the young folks impress me, so I won't belabor the point. They are too cool.
Our support group Christmas party was this past Saturday night and a whole lot of fun. My GG friends, Melanie and Stephanie attended again this year. They always enjoy meeting my other friends. It's fun when your friends from two parts of life have an opportunity to say hello to each other.
I don't vent very often, so this will be as close as I come. It has eternally bothered me when people in the TG community have an elevated perception of their importance to the community. I am not speaking of anyone in my immediate circle of friends, nor my support group. Now and then we see people who, in each conversation, feel compelled to recite their resume'. It is not new.
In my view, the greatest contributions are made by those who live their lives in such a way as to be an example to others, or who show their care for others in any number of ways. I am priveleged to know several of those people now, to have knowledge of others and to be aware there are others whose names will never be known. To those good people, each of us is indebted.
It was good to hear a local television station is taking part by collecting donations.
During a recent cold snap, the Charlotte Urban Ministry was short 1000 beds. A local church opened it's doors and took in 200 women.
Clearly, the need remains greater than the resources. The effort gets most attention in winter months, especially around Christmas. The problem is year round.
Last night was the Time Out Youth meeting, which included GenderSpace. I have said before how the young folks impress me, so I won't belabor the point. They are too cool.
Our support group Christmas party was this past Saturday night and a whole lot of fun. My GG friends, Melanie and Stephanie attended again this year. They always enjoy meeting my other friends. It's fun when your friends from two parts of life have an opportunity to say hello to each other.
I don't vent very often, so this will be as close as I come. It has eternally bothered me when people in the TG community have an elevated perception of their importance to the community. I am not speaking of anyone in my immediate circle of friends, nor my support group. Now and then we see people who, in each conversation, feel compelled to recite their resume'. It is not new.
In my view, the greatest contributions are made by those who live their lives in such a way as to be an example to others, or who show their care for others in any number of ways. I am priveleged to know several of those people now, to have knowledge of others and to be aware there are others whose names will never be known. To those good people, each of us is indebted.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
odds & ends
I must be in the spirit of Christmas. I'm finally enjoying 'Holly Jolly Christmas' by Burl Ives. That's a sure sign for me.
I probably won't see my children this year. I haven't seen my daughter since last year. She got what she wanted financially and hasn't seen fit to visit since last Christmas. I called my son, but haven't heard from him...yet. I will read again what I say about letting go.
I made a bit of a mistake last night. I decided to look at some very old photographs of my family. These go back many years. I found one of my ex holding my six month old son in the back yard. It got to me in a major way. I won't be doing that again for a while. My emotions are running rampant these days.
Last Monday evening was the Time Out Youth potluck social. It was at a coffee house and a lot of fun. Some of the young folks performed original poetry and musical compositions. I read the piece I wrote on The Transgender Day of Remembrance in November. Some of the people seem to appreciate it, which makes me feel good.
I'm one of the volunteers, but I think I'm the one who gets the most benefit. The maturity of these young people is in stark contrast to my life as a teen. I told them I know people who have spent a lifetime trying to find their way. They have already done it.
There is a new transgendered character introduced on 'All My Children'. I've set the DVR a few times to get a feel for it. So far, I am underwhelmed. I have not seen a lot of depth to this character so far. There truly is no pun intended there.
I probably won't see my children this year. I haven't seen my daughter since last year. She got what she wanted financially and hasn't seen fit to visit since last Christmas. I called my son, but haven't heard from him...yet. I will read again what I say about letting go.
I made a bit of a mistake last night. I decided to look at some very old photographs of my family. These go back many years. I found one of my ex holding my six month old son in the back yard. It got to me in a major way. I won't be doing that again for a while. My emotions are running rampant these days.
Last Monday evening was the Time Out Youth potluck social. It was at a coffee house and a lot of fun. Some of the young folks performed original poetry and musical compositions. I read the piece I wrote on The Transgender Day of Remembrance in November. Some of the people seem to appreciate it, which makes me feel good.
I'm one of the volunteers, but I think I'm the one who gets the most benefit. The maturity of these young people is in stark contrast to my life as a teen. I told them I know people who have spent a lifetime trying to find their way. They have already done it.
There is a new transgendered character introduced on 'All My Children'. I've set the DVR a few times to get a feel for it. So far, I am underwhelmed. I have not seen a lot of depth to this character so far. There truly is no pun intended there.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Transgender Day of Remembrance
This past Monday, November 20 was The Transgender Day of Remembrance. I was afforded the opportunity to take part in a panel discussion, followed by the lighting of candles.
It was somewhat emotional for me to do this. I think each day about people I have known in years past. While they were not subjected to violence, they were victimized emotionally.
It is amazing to me that in the 21st century, people would hate someone because they are different. It's reality.
A sure sign of Christmas happened locally the day after Thanksgiving. Some people at a mall were trampled in a mad stampede to be the first at something or the other. I'm sure this happens in other places, but it's another of the oddities of life I fail to understand. It occurred to me these folks probably had their car radio tuned to music hoping for peace on earth, but woe be unto someone who stands in the way of the new X-Box. Beats the heck out of me.
It was somewhat emotional for me to do this. I think each day about people I have known in years past. While they were not subjected to violence, they were victimized emotionally.
It is amazing to me that in the 21st century, people would hate someone because they are different. It's reality.
A sure sign of Christmas happened locally the day after Thanksgiving. Some people at a mall were trampled in a mad stampede to be the first at something or the other. I'm sure this happens in other places, but it's another of the oddities of life I fail to understand. It occurred to me these folks probably had their car radio tuned to music hoping for peace on earth, but woe be unto someone who stands in the way of the new X-Box. Beats the heck out of me.
Monday, September 25, 2006
change of seasons
I realized I've not updated my blog in several months and two changes of seasons have taken place.
I am still in awe of how good life can be sometimes. I have been able to do a small amount of volunteering at Time Out Youth, although not enough. These young folks amaze me. I told the group a couple months ago that I've known people who live a lifetime and never really get in touch with their 'true selves'. It is I who learn from them.
Fathers' Day came and went, as did a birthday, without a call from my daughter. I did hear from my son and have seen him, which means more than can be put into words.
I thought a lot about Fathers' Day this year. I have known some people who attempt to sever their ties to the past and shun the label of father, brother or son. I would not critize anyone for their decisions, but I will always be proud to be a father to my children. It is the past that has shaped who we are today. Anyhow, this is only my opinion.
I never cease to be amazed at the bickering that goes on within what are supposed to support groups. I am watching it happen now in more than one group. The groups and the names don't matter. The outcome is the same. When we spend our energy and time in flame wars over personal slights, whether real or perceived, we take away from the good that can be accomplished by the larger number. It is just so easy to get caught up with 'self' that the needs of others fall by the wayside. Each of us is guilty to some extent, this writer included, I am certain.
We had our semester visit to The University of North Carolina at Charlotte last week. This outreach continues to be one of the more satisfying efforts for me personally, and I believe for the others who attend.
It occurred to me during last week's class that someone with courage began this outreach 17 years ago. There are three classes per year, which is 51 classes. Assuming 30 students per class (there are usually more) that is 1,530 people who have seen a positive image of TG people from varying points on the spectrum.
I would wonder how many of those people were questioning their own gender identity. Societal norms tell us a certain percentage would be. The rest may be more open to friends or relatives whom they may learn are questioning. It's a pretty cool thought in those terms.
I am still in awe of how good life can be sometimes. I have been able to do a small amount of volunteering at Time Out Youth, although not enough. These young folks amaze me. I told the group a couple months ago that I've known people who live a lifetime and never really get in touch with their 'true selves'. It is I who learn from them.
Fathers' Day came and went, as did a birthday, without a call from my daughter. I did hear from my son and have seen him, which means more than can be put into words.
I thought a lot about Fathers' Day this year. I have known some people who attempt to sever their ties to the past and shun the label of father, brother or son. I would not critize anyone for their decisions, but I will always be proud to be a father to my children. It is the past that has shaped who we are today. Anyhow, this is only my opinion.
I never cease to be amazed at the bickering that goes on within what are supposed to support groups. I am watching it happen now in more than one group. The groups and the names don't matter. The outcome is the same. When we spend our energy and time in flame wars over personal slights, whether real or perceived, we take away from the good that can be accomplished by the larger number. It is just so easy to get caught up with 'self' that the needs of others fall by the wayside. Each of us is guilty to some extent, this writer included, I am certain.
We had our semester visit to The University of North Carolina at Charlotte last week. This outreach continues to be one of the more satisfying efforts for me personally, and I believe for the others who attend.
It occurred to me during last week's class that someone with courage began this outreach 17 years ago. There are three classes per year, which is 51 classes. Assuming 30 students per class (there are usually more) that is 1,530 people who have seen a positive image of TG people from varying points on the spectrum.
I would wonder how many of those people were questioning their own gender identity. Societal norms tell us a certain percentage would be. The rest may be more open to friends or relatives whom they may learn are questioning. It's a pretty cool thought in those terms.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Visit to UNCC
Yesterday was our once per semester visit to the Unversity of North Carolina at Charlotte sociology class. This was my third occasion to attend and, as always, we were treated with respect and asked some extremely insightful questions. These classes are always a positive and uplifting experience. Four of us went and two were making their first visit, which I thought was wonderful.
This outreach was begun over 16 years ago and continues now. I often wonder how many young people who are struggling with TG issues may have been touched during these years and so many visits. I have a feeling it is more than a few.
This outreach was begun over 16 years ago and continues now. I often wonder how many young people who are struggling with TG issues may have been touched during these years and so many visits. I have a feeling it is more than a few.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Southeast Regional Time Out Youth Conference
May 12th and 13th, I had the opportunity to attend the Time Out Youth Conference held in Charlotte, NC. A group of four from my church took part in a workshop led by our pastor. I also was able to attend the various workshops as they took place both days.
A couple things struck me very quickly. Young people these days seem so much more intelligent than I remember us being in our teens. Perhaps it's this group and the sense of focus they possessed. I don't know, but if they are indicative of the mainstream, our future will be in good hands.
The number of teens who identified as being transgendered was relatively small, which I believe reflects the overall percentage we think of in society as a whole. What did surprise me was that the majority of the young people who identified as transgendered were F2M. I only recall one young person who identified as M2F, although there were perhaps others.
Again, whether this is indicative of this particuar conference, or reflects the norm, I do not know. What I do know is these young people have the same challenges and issues to over come that each of us did, irrespective or our age or place on the transgender continuum.
As I have said so often, all each of us is seeking is to 'find our way' in life. It was gratifying to see people at such a young age who are well on the way to finding their way.
The keynote speaker for Saturday was Kate Bornstein, well known author, lecturer, and performance artist. It was a pleasure to meet her in person.
A couple things struck me very quickly. Young people these days seem so much more intelligent than I remember us being in our teens. Perhaps it's this group and the sense of focus they possessed. I don't know, but if they are indicative of the mainstream, our future will be in good hands.
The number of teens who identified as being transgendered was relatively small, which I believe reflects the overall percentage we think of in society as a whole. What did surprise me was that the majority of the young people who identified as transgendered were F2M. I only recall one young person who identified as M2F, although there were perhaps others.
Again, whether this is indicative of this particuar conference, or reflects the norm, I do not know. What I do know is these young people have the same challenges and issues to over come that each of us did, irrespective or our age or place on the transgender continuum.
As I have said so often, all each of us is seeking is to 'find our way' in life. It was gratifying to see people at such a young age who are well on the way to finding their way.
The keynote speaker for Saturday was Kate Bornstein, well known author, lecturer, and performance artist. It was a pleasure to meet her in person.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
April 29, 2006
Last weekend, I was afforded the opportunity to attend a Saturday morning seminar presented by the Electrology Association of N.C. (EANC) A presenter was Susan Anderer of the Illinois School of Electrology. Her primary lecture topic was a new technique known as the "Sequential Inverted Micro-Pulse Led Energy Technique". Obviously, I am speaking as a non professional, but this is an approach using a series of electrical pulses, as opposed to one longer continuous pulse. These pulses last 1/1000 of a second, the blink of an eye. Typically, there are a series of nine pulses, depending upon the coarsness of the hair, or the stage of the growth at which the follicle happens to be. She experimented with as few as six pulses.
I was the subject of a demonstration for the electrologists present, using this technique. This was because I still have what are known as "terminal" hairs. No, this does not mean they grew at the airport. (S'cuse the humor!) Additionally, these follicles were in anagen (growth) stage. It would not be proper for me to judge the effectiveness of this approach, being a layperson. Suffice it to say, the 90 minute presentation, and subsequent demonstration were extremely educational.
Someone thanked me for being the subject. I told them I'm like someone looking for a handout. I'll go anywhere to get a few hairs zapped. Incidentally, Ms Anderer is lecturing at "Be All" in Chicago this June. http://www.be-all.org/
Lastly for now, anyone who knows me also knows I am a Seinfeld fan, which is putting it mildly. I saw 'Capote' recently. I was probably one of the few people yet to see the movie. I wanted to judge for myself if Philip Hoffman deserved his Oscar for best actor. He definitely did. He was awesome. In any case, the actor who played the role of Truman Capote's agent also played the Seinfeld role of Russel Dalrymple, the president of NBC when Jerry and George were pitching their pilot.
I may be wrong on this one, but I could almost swear Perry Smith, one of the killers was the guy who played the Puerto Rican waiter whom George caused to be fired at a restaurant in one episode. George and Kramer went to his apartment and accidently let the guy's cat out. I've googled this one and still can't be certain, but it looked like him.
Then, I had my nails done the other day. This is a salon I've been to a few times and the ladies are quite nice. There was a wonderfully done Seinfeld episode which took place in a chinese restaurant. The gang could not be seated and when they asked how long it would be, the host always said, "oh....five, ten minutes". I swear, the owner, Luan came over and said, "it be......five, ten minutes". True to the script, it was more like twenty minutes. Granted, she was not chinese, but it was close enough. Hey, you take humor in life wherever you can find it.
I was the subject of a demonstration for the electrologists present, using this technique. This was because I still have what are known as "terminal" hairs. No, this does not mean they grew at the airport. (S'cuse the humor!) Additionally, these follicles were in anagen (growth) stage. It would not be proper for me to judge the effectiveness of this approach, being a layperson. Suffice it to say, the 90 minute presentation, and subsequent demonstration were extremely educational.
Someone thanked me for being the subject. I told them I'm like someone looking for a handout. I'll go anywhere to get a few hairs zapped. Incidentally, Ms Anderer is lecturing at "Be All" in Chicago this June. http://www.be-all.org/
Lastly for now, anyone who knows me also knows I am a Seinfeld fan, which is putting it mildly. I saw 'Capote' recently. I was probably one of the few people yet to see the movie. I wanted to judge for myself if Philip Hoffman deserved his Oscar for best actor. He definitely did. He was awesome. In any case, the actor who played the role of Truman Capote's agent also played the Seinfeld role of Russel Dalrymple, the president of NBC when Jerry and George were pitching their pilot.
I may be wrong on this one, but I could almost swear Perry Smith, one of the killers was the guy who played the Puerto Rican waiter whom George caused to be fired at a restaurant in one episode. George and Kramer went to his apartment and accidently let the guy's cat out. I've googled this one and still can't be certain, but it looked like him.
Then, I had my nails done the other day. This is a salon I've been to a few times and the ladies are quite nice. There was a wonderfully done Seinfeld episode which took place in a chinese restaurant. The gang could not be seated and when they asked how long it would be, the host always said, "oh....five, ten minutes". I swear, the owner, Luan came over and said, "it be......five, ten minutes". True to the script, it was more like twenty minutes. Granted, she was not chinese, but it was close enough. Hey, you take humor in life wherever you can find it.
Monday, April 03, 2006
life's humor, then lows
I was in the library again the other day and found a couple books I wanted to check out. It occurred to me I'd not gotten a library card yet in my name, which is something I need to take care of.
Anyway, I told the librarian this was 'my husband's card'. She scanned in the computer and said, "it looks like he has a $.20 overdue fine". All I had was a ten, so she said, "he can pay it next time he's in".
I thought of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry dates a girl he thinks is too much like him. He says, "I've found who I've been looking for..me. Now I've swept myself off my feet!" Life can be a hoot sometimes.
Then life has it's low points. I wrote at Christmas how excited I was that my daughter and son came over for a visit, after not seeing them in several years. I was hoping my daughter had not come only because she wanted financial help. Unfortunately, the last several months have proved this was the case. It adds sadness to an otherwise wonderful life. She hung up the phone on me the other night, after using not very nice words.
I need to read again what I wrote about letting go, and take my own advice. Not an easy thing to do where your children are concerned....but it's reality.
I went back to that place where my two friends were refused service. Those two young men are either no longer there, or are not working when I go in. As I said, discrimination in any form is unacceptable and must not go unchallenged.
Anyway, I told the librarian this was 'my husband's card'. She scanned in the computer and said, "it looks like he has a $.20 overdue fine". All I had was a ten, so she said, "he can pay it next time he's in".
I thought of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry dates a girl he thinks is too much like him. He says, "I've found who I've been looking for..me. Now I've swept myself off my feet!" Life can be a hoot sometimes.
Then life has it's low points. I wrote at Christmas how excited I was that my daughter and son came over for a visit, after not seeing them in several years. I was hoping my daughter had not come only because she wanted financial help. Unfortunately, the last several months have proved this was the case. It adds sadness to an otherwise wonderful life. She hung up the phone on me the other night, after using not very nice words.
I need to read again what I wrote about letting go, and take my own advice. Not an easy thing to do where your children are concerned....but it's reality.
I went back to that place where my two friends were refused service. Those two young men are either no longer there, or are not working when I go in. As I said, discrimination in any form is unacceptable and must not go unchallenged.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Synchronicity
Sometimes I think things happen in sequence to send us a little message here and there. One of my favorite simple pleasures is to spend time with coffee and some reading in Starbucks.
The other day I was enjoying my hour of coffee, and reading a womens' daily devotional Melanie gave me. The title is "Woman, Thou Art Loosed", by Bishop T. D. Jakes. It contains a lot of meaningful faith based messages which I find inspirational.
In any case, you don't see books of this genre, or by this author just every day. When I left Starbucks, I stopped by the library to check new releases. The first new book that met my eye was another by Bishop T. D. Jakes. The title, "God's Message for the Single Woman". I suppose it's appropriate, and perhaps a bit of synchronicity. As I think back over time, there are many such small events, and this is probably true for all of us.
The other day I was enjoying my hour of coffee, and reading a womens' daily devotional Melanie gave me. The title is "Woman, Thou Art Loosed", by Bishop T. D. Jakes. It contains a lot of meaningful faith based messages which I find inspirational.
In any case, you don't see books of this genre, or by this author just every day. When I left Starbucks, I stopped by the library to check new releases. The first new book that met my eye was another by Bishop T. D. Jakes. The title, "God's Message for the Single Woman". I suppose it's appropriate, and perhaps a bit of synchronicity. As I think back over time, there are many such small events, and this is probably true for all of us.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Individual Rights
Even with the positive media exposure our community has received lately, and the increased acceptance we like to believe exists, things still happen to let us know there is a long way to go.
A couple weeks ago, two friends went to a fast food restaurant and were refused service by two employees. As they patiently waited at the counter to place their order, the two male cashiers went to the rear of the restaurant, turned their back and intentionally ignored them. Eventually, a female worker came to the front and took their order. Big whoop de do!
It normally takes a lot to get my dander up, but this one did. I mean, come on now, Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence that "we are endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights, among which are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness".
Um, excuse me! Having a sandwich and coffee in our chosen gender role is one of the ways a number of us pursue happiness.
I personally went back to this place a few days ago. Apparantly, these two young men were not working that day. I am normally a very retiring person. I have to say when I walked in there, I felt like Clint Eastwood. I wanted to say "go ahead punk, make my day". I am anything but confrontational, but I had a right to sit in a booth and enjoy my iced tea, which I did.
In this day and age in America, discrimination in any form is simply unacceptable. I don't believe this one is over yet.
Back again to the Oscars this past Sunday, I find it to be a commentary on the state of Hollywood, and the world, when a 'song' about a pimp and his hookers won 'Best Song'. But hey, that's just me.
A couple weeks ago, two friends went to a fast food restaurant and were refused service by two employees. As they patiently waited at the counter to place their order, the two male cashiers went to the rear of the restaurant, turned their back and intentionally ignored them. Eventually, a female worker came to the front and took their order. Big whoop de do!
It normally takes a lot to get my dander up, but this one did. I mean, come on now, Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence that "we are endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights, among which are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness".
Um, excuse me! Having a sandwich and coffee in our chosen gender role is one of the ways a number of us pursue happiness.
I personally went back to this place a few days ago. Apparantly, these two young men were not working that day. I am normally a very retiring person. I have to say when I walked in there, I felt like Clint Eastwood. I wanted to say "go ahead punk, make my day". I am anything but confrontational, but I had a right to sit in a booth and enjoy my iced tea, which I did.
In this day and age in America, discrimination in any form is simply unacceptable. I don't believe this one is over yet.
Back again to the Oscars this past Sunday, I find it to be a commentary on the state of Hollywood, and the world, when a 'song' about a pimp and his hookers won 'Best Song'. But hey, that's just me.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
March 8, 2006
I watched the Oscars Sunday evening for the first time ever. Of course, I had an ulterior motive in hoping Felicity Huffman would win 'best actress' for 'Transamerica'. Although I was hoping she would, I was not surprised she didn't.
That fact does not diminish the impact this motion picture has in portraying a transsexual as simply a person who is seeking happiness. As Dolly Parton sings, "questions I have many, answers but a few". How true that is, and applies to all of us. (although oftentimes we won't admit we have more questions than answers)
The impact of this movie was demonstrated by the Larry King show a couple weeks ago, in which there were a number of transsexual panelists. There have been others. It may not be an overstatement to say we took a quantum leap in outreach.
With my change in employment, there is only one of the old 'gang' with whom I'm keeping in touch. We spoke today and will meet for lunch one day soon.
That fact does not diminish the impact this motion picture has in portraying a transsexual as simply a person who is seeking happiness. As Dolly Parton sings, "questions I have many, answers but a few". How true that is, and applies to all of us. (although oftentimes we won't admit we have more questions than answers)
The impact of this movie was demonstrated by the Larry King show a couple weeks ago, in which there were a number of transsexual panelists. There have been others. It may not be an overstatement to say we took a quantum leap in outreach.
With my change in employment, there is only one of the old 'gang' with whom I'm keeping in touch. We spoke today and will meet for lunch one day soon.
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