one year later

Tomorrow is exactly one year since my facial surgery. It has made life much easier, so I would definitely do it again. I have thought of posting photos the day after surgery, but I can't bring myself to do it. I never knew it was possible to feel so horrible for so long, although they said I did great. The chin implant has helped round out my face; at least I think it has. You know you look bad when you get up in the morning, the cat takes a look at you and promptly throws up. That did happen.

My friend Roberta was on a panel discussion at Queens University in Charlotte last week. There was a showing of 'For The Bible Tells Me So'. There was a panel discussion afterward on what the bible says about homosexuality. As always, being transgender would not have been mentioned until Roberta volunteered for the panel. She did a great job.

I'm doing a corporate presentation in a couple weeks. I enjoy events like this so much and always look forward to the event when the time comes. We have a planning session tomorrow.

Elizabeth Birch at UNCC

Former Human Rights Campaign director, Elizabeth Birch spoke at The University of North Carolina at Charlotte last evening. Her speech evidenced her devotion to the cause of human dignity and was well received.

As I was expecting, the subject of The Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA) came up. How could it not? She pointed out they were within one vote of passing ENDA in 1995.

During the post event reception, I was able to speak with her one on one. She is as appalled as anyone over the rift between HRC and the transgender community. Her comments about imploring Barney Frank to support a trans inclusive ENDA were interesting.

It would not serve well for me to make a lengthy commentary on ENDA. Donna Rose, a former HRC board member has done a better job of maintaining a timeline than anyone I know of.

Elke Kennedy has been interviewed by GLAAD. You can read the interview here. The energy and courage of this woman continue to amaze me. I'm proud to call her my friend.

If you go the GLAAD blog home page, another transgender woman was murdered in August. She passed away August 30th. Nakhia Williams will be another human being to be remembered on The Transgender Day of Remembrance next month.

my daughter's wedding

I don't write a lot about my personal life, except for the nut in the gas line last week. However, my daughter was married yesterday.

This was one of the more emotional times I've had this year, and I've already had a few. I had not seen either of my children in several years. I truly hope this is the start of a new relationship. There are a myriad of issues to discuss and begin to heal. The real healing will begin with only one word.......love.

Her husband is a fine young man, in the Army and will begin his second tour in Iraq October 17th. I thanked him for for what he has done for us and am proud for him to be my son in law.

My son's brother in law is a Marine, having joined the service earlier this year. As I spoke with him, the pride in his voice and his demeanor was palpable. These are people to be proud of.

My ex wife and I were cordial, which is no small thing. She probaby would not believe how I have worried about her, although I have.

I have to also admit I never knew I had so many tears to cry, but that's okay. Tears bring a healing in many ways.

I don't always agree with people in the transgender community why try to reconstruct their past. I respect their decision because this is an individual choice and we do what we must to survive. However, in my view, we are all the sum total of everything we have ever done or been. I will always be a father, and proudly so. It is part of who I am. Everyone changes as a person over time, some of us moreso than others, which is putting it mildly. This part of me will never change. Sometimes people have a hard time understanding we have always been who we are; only the outward appearance changes.

Nuts in Charlotte

The gas situation in the southeast is insane. More specifically, some folks in Charlotte are insane. I found fuel yesterday with only two people ahead in line. I thought, how cool is this? A guy in a Mercedes creeped out his door, moseyed over to the pump and suddenly realized he just might need his debit card.

He fumbled through his wallet and laid out all the cards on the trunk. Having found the treasured debit card, he realized he would need a PIN number. He fumbled a while longer while folks in line were running on fumes. You would have thought the guy was playng Solitaire on the top of that trunk lid. He finally got lucky and picked the right card, then gave me a smile.

I wondered to myself what he would say if I took out a baseball bat and asked him the eternal riddle: What happens when you hit a Mercedes with a ball bat? Answer -- The Mercedes Bends.

I gotta get in anger management.

Pride = Dignity

This was NC Pride weekend in Durham, NC, held on the campus of Duke University. I drove up with my friends Elke and Jim to help with their booth, Sean's Last Wish. Elke spoke at noon and was inspirational, as always. When she talks to people about her son, they are often moved to tears. No one can deliver the message the way a mother can.

It was a totally great day. As I've said, these events are unique in their own way with a certain energy about them. If my enthusiasm is low when I come, which it seldom is, these days always charge me up.

I met my friends Pastor Mike and Sister Katherine from The Church of The Painted Sky in Lumberton, NC. They joined our Carolina TLGB Christians online group the week it was formed. Their messages and prayers have meant a lot to us.

You always run into friends you haven't seen in a while. I met my dear friends Rachael, Victoria and her dear wife, Susan (Sunshine). Victoria and Susan will move home to Canada soon, but will aways be my friends. They have left a legacy in North Carolina with Durham Gender Alliance, which is growing weekly.

I had not planned to march in the parade, but I linked up with new friends from The United Church of Chapel Hill, NC. They are part United Church of Christ, so it was like coming home to friends I was meeting for the first time. They were so nice, they gave me one of their t-shirts. It was cool they were at the beginning of the parade. I got goose bumps as we marched along with crowds five people deep in some places waving and cheering. The parade itself was a half mile long. The march was a couple miles through downtown Durham.

As always, there was a block long row of protestors. I always enjoy looking them in the eye and giving them a word of encouragement. Mostly I don't get a friendly look back.

This takes me to the title of this post. I have uploaded a bunch of photos from the event. You can see them here. In photo #24, the banners say "Break the Cycle of Silence, Discrimination and Injustice by Living Your Truth". That one statement sums up the day. Pride = Dignity.

It will never cease to amaze me that people have a hard time accepting what they do not understand. There were people this weekend who did not completely get me, or perhaps I do not understand them. Yet, when you walk into the venue, you feel like you've come home.

This is why Elke Kennedy must fight for justice and tolerance. She lost her son only because of who he was. How many times in our day to day lives do we judge others or give only a tacit acceptance to others who are different from our perception of normal? Do we have to completely understand each other to accept each other?

The answer is, no we do not. This is one reason hatred exists within the LGBT community towards what they perceive as 'the church'. A protester yesterday held a sign that said, "You deserve hell". See photo #42. I have seen hatred before. I don't think I've seen it sink that low until yesterday. (You can click on the photos to enlarge)

We hear people ask why someone would choose such a lifestyle. Would anyone actually make a conscious decision to live a life in which they would be forced to hide who they are for a lifetime for fear of losing family, home, friends or career?

It is true the LGB community does not always 'get' the transgender segment and often vice versa, but this is the one thing we do have in common......the reality of the possibility of being stereotyped, marginalized and ostracized.....or subjected to violence only because of who we are.

Jenny Boylan said the one thing we have in common with the gay community is we get beaten up by the same people. There is certainly a grain of truth in that, but I think it goes much deeper. The Transgender of Day of Remembrance will be held November 20th. As long as the cycle of ignorance breeding fear, which breeds hatred which breeds violence exists, there will always be a need for a day of remembrance.

There will never be a shortage of hurting people to encourage one at a time, nor a shortage of causes for which to stand up. Nothing is more important.

Towards Building a Welcoming Church

The conference this past weekend on "Towards Building a Welcoming Church" was precisely what I needed. It was a time of worship, learning, networking and refocusing. I met some wonderful people, many of whom I want to get to know better.

The good people at Wake Forest Divinity School were gracious hosts. I might add their cafeteria is beyond awesome. Some of us agreed we could dine there every day.

It was an opportunity for me to focus on outreach outside the transgender community itself, valuable though that is. As I said earlier, so many churches have turned away the people it should be reaching out to in earnest. The days were rather long, but it was a totally unique experience. The worship time at the end of each day was very moving. You may want to visit The Institute For Welcoming Resources, sponsored by The Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

Unfortunately I had to miss the LGBT Healthfair Saturday morning which I was instrumental in organizing. Our CGA folks stepped up and handled the booth. We even picked up a new member as a result of this event.

I also had to miss The Farewell To Summer Party at The Van Landingham Estate. This is one of the major events of the year and I'm sure I would have met some amazing people there also. However the insight I gained Friday through Sunday at the conference overshadowed everything.


Most of my friends know by now I left my previous employer last month. It was on the very best of terms, but was also one of the more difficult events of my lifetime. It can never be an easy thing to leave people you have come to care about. It's impossible to work with so many people for so many years without developing a genuine respect and even love.

I especially have a profound respect for our management in this company. These are good people who will always have a special place in my heart. If you read this, you already know these things and that I wish each and every one of you the very best as you move forward in your own life journeys.

Crisis - the book

I meant to post a link earlier to a new book titled 'Crisis'. It details the lives of a number of victims of hate crimes and how their families dealt with the loss. There is a section on Sean Kennedy. If you are inclined to buy this book, a purchase through Sean's Last Wish will donate a portion of the proceeds to the foundation.

Speaking of which, I'm planning to drive to Pride Raleigh Sept. 27 with my friend Elke and her husband. We will leave Friday to be rested for a long day at the Pride event. Each of these events is unique. Elke has been given a speaking slot, as well she should. For me, this will be another time of charging my batteries and networking with a whole new group of people. I do enjoy these events so much. I'm sure I will see many acquaintances and friends from the Raleigh/Durham area.

I was given an opportunity to attend a conference titled 'On Becoming A Welcoming Church' this coming Friday through Sunday at the Wake Forest Divinity School in Winston Salem, NC.

Even though I will miss several events in Charlotte this weekend, this is a unique opportunity and one I do not want to miss. Our Charlotte Gender Alliance folks will handle our booth at the LGBT Healthfair Saturday. I wanted to attend the Farewell To Summer Party Saturday evening, but as I said, the conference must come first.

We hear so often about people who have been turned away by their own churches, it becomes easy to overlook those chuches that have had the courage to become Open & Affirming. So many in the LGBT community are ostracized by the very churches that should be welcoming. There is an increasing number of Open & Affirming churches. The courage of each church leader and congregation should be honored. The result of that courage will have a ripple effect through time. When any effort is made to educate and encourage, it must come before anything else. Nothing is more important. God loves each of us more than we can imagine; a hurting world needs that message.

The fact this conference will encourage other churches to become 'ONA' is an overwhelming thought.

Sept. 13, 2008

I've often thought a most unique act would be a transgender ventroliquist. I mean, how many have you seen? Actually there are a few.

Terri Rogers of Great Britain (1937-1999) was one of the best. You can view a clip of her on Youtube here. Excuse the somewhat salty language at the beginning. There just aren't many transgender ventriloquists

I've thought about doing a ventriloquist act at one of the Christmas parties this year. It would certainly go over better than my ABBA routine last year. I've already written an act that Melanie thinks is hilarious. I wonder if she just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Nah, couldn't be that.


I know I've talked a lot about leadership and the meaning thereof. I have seen so many times over the years when people pay lip service to the cause of human dignity, yet let the message become about them and what they have done. I've seen good people whose passion has grown to the point it overwhelms a group and drains energy that could be used in other outreach efforts.

I found the following lines on inner peace which I would like to share here. In it's simplicity, it says volumes.

By Thomas Merton:

"It is useless to try to make peace with ourselves by being pleased with everything we have done. In order to settle down in the quiet of our own being we must learn to be detached from the results of our own activity. We must withdraw ourselves to some extent, from effects that are beyond our control and be content with the good will and the work that are the quiet expression of our inner life. We must be content to live without watching ourselves live, to work without expecting an immediate reward, to love without an instantaneous gratification, and to exist without any special recognition."

August 25, 2008

My birthday was yesterday. As a treat, Melanie took me to see Mama Mia this afternoon. Being the ABBA fan that I am, I thought this movie was absolutely wonderful.

As I listened to Meryl Streep singing Waterloo, I found myself wondering why my German rendition of Waterloo wasn't that big a hit at one of the Christmas parties last year. I asked myself if it could be a lack of talent, but of course I quickly realized what a silly thought that was.

There will be another name to remember during the Transgender Day of Remembrance November 20th. Angie Zapata was found murdered in her Greely, CO apartment last month. Donna Rose spoke at the vigil and wrote of it more eloquently than I possibly could. Read it here.

For every battered body, we will never know the number of battered souls who are bullied or harrassed. As I've written often, it's not only transgender or gay people. It's anyone who is harrassed for no reason other than who they are.

People sometimes talk about the transgender lifestyle, or the gay lifestyle or any lifestyle which deviates from the perceived 'norm', as though it were a choice. Would any sane person choose to live a life in which they have to hide the core of who they are from the rest of the world? Who would choose a life that could mean losing everyone they care about?

How ironic that to gain self respect, some must first lose everything. This is the reality for many in our community.

August 24, 2008

Melanie felt well enough to come to church this morning. She's missed lately due to all the surgery. Everyone was glad to have her back.

My good friend, Angela Brightfeather is vice president of Transgender American Veterans Association. I became very acquainted with the president, Monica Helms during Angela's Educational Initiative in Charlotte at the HRC gala this past February. Both these ladies are the real deal. They have my utmost respect.

There has been a White Paper prepared on the state of transgender veterans affairs for TAVA and the Palm Center at The University of California, Santa Barbara. Angela sent me a copy of this survey in pdf format last week. You can visit The Transgender American Veterans website and read the entire survey. For anyone so inclined, click on 'survey results' and you will see a link to the pdf file.

When we hear of veterans in general who are receiving neither the treatment nor the respect they deserve, it comes as no surprise transgender veterans would be no exception. HRC ran a 'backstory' piece on the survey which you can read here. Angela also let me know a copy of this survey has been placed in the hands of certain members of congress who will be on the floor at the Democratic National Convention in CO this coming week and are members of The House Committee on Veterans' Affairs.

Angela and I go back many years, more than we sometimes admit. We don't always agree, but we have agreed more than once the respect we share will never go away. When you have the common roots we do, it becomes almost like blood.

This survey shows us again there will never be a shortage of injustices or causes in the quest for human dignity. It becomes natural most of our focus is on transgender issues, but it goes far deeper than even that.

Human dignity is the one cause that must never take a back seat to any group or person. I get nuts when I see self promotion become more important than the common goal. Angela knows I was not speaking of her in my remarks on leadership in the previous post. If you happen to read this and wonder if I am talking about you, I probably am.

August 16, 2008

Melanie had surgery on her right knee this past Wednesday. I spoke with the surgeon and this one seems to have turned out better than the left knee on June 21. She's home resting, but feeling a lot of pain. The partial replacement of the left knee will likely happen soon. The poor girl is running out of knees.

My dear friend Lori Anne is again video blogging on Youtube. In view of the broken marriages and what often place between families and friends, this is worth viewing. Relationships do not have to dissolve merely because a person decided to become a whole person, rather than just walking through life. You can see it here.

There is occasional discussion in the community about leadership and activism. I think they have commonalities, but are not necessarily the same.

Is a leader not someone who sets an example for others by the way he/she treats others?

To be first, one must first become the least. To be looked up to, one must first be looked down upon. We speak of our abhorring labels. Yet, some of us may seek the label of 'leader', which is perhaps the least desired label of all. It is in embracing the term that we may become least effective as a genuine leader.

In large measure, it is part of the eternal conundrum. The greater our quest, whether through a misplaced sense of altruism or self promotion, the less our chance becomes of providing what our world needs, people who can lift up each other, rather than talking down to them; people who can look someone in the eye and tell them it really is okay to be who they are, rather than talking about their own accomplishments.

August 8, 2008

Anyone who has known me more than five minutes also knows my dear friend Melanie. Each of us has a thing for Wizard of Oz. Five years ago, during my divorce and other issues, she gave me a pair of Ruby Slippers, as a reminder that your dreams really can come true.

During dinner the other night, she had a surprise, a Dorothy watch for each of us. On the face is Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road and a little ruby slipper charm hanging from the face. It's totally beyond cool. Not that anyone would necessarily want to, but you can see it here.

Melanie is having surgery on her right knee this coming Wednesday, after having surgery on the left knee last month. Even though she's home right now, people are still drawn to her for encouragement. It's quite amazing.

This coming September 20th in Charlotte is an LGBT Healthair sponsored by HRC. It will be an all encompassing event for the community. From a transgender perspective, we have a laser technician, an electrologist (some people think they are the same), a medical doctor and a psychologist. There are simultaneous events taking place in Greensboro and Raleigh.

I'm already taking a lot of criticism for working with HRC, even on the local level. A number of these people are my friends and I will always work with them.

There are so many pressing issues in the community. I understand about the HRC/ENDA debacle, but I see people using certain forums to advance their personal agenda. HRC seems to have become the topic du jour. I think it's to the point some people are playing a one note symphony. Maybe it's time to get the rest of the sheet music.

Charlotte Gender Alliance this past Saturday was one of the more energy filled meetings I've ever attended. We had 25 people for the meeting and 14 for dinner. As the group grows, we are going to need a larger meeting space and perhaps consider splitting into two groups, taking a break halfway through and then mingling into two new groups. That way everyone interacts with everyone else. This is not a problem or, if it is, it's the kind we like to have.

Pride Charlotte

Saturday was a wonderful day. We had plenty of volunteers for our Charlotte Gender Alliance booth. I uploaded some photos in my webshots albumn. You can see them here. I have to admit it really got to me when I saw our newer people handing out flyers and engaging in outreach themselves. They were looking people in the eye and telling them you are welcome to meet with us no matter who you are. Pretty awesome!

I spoke around 12:30. I always spend a few minutes alone to collect my thoughts before I speak. A friend who is virtually a professional photographer took the above photo with a telephoto lens. I think I like this photo because it shows me actually thinking for a change. You can click on it to enlarge.

My dear friend, Elke Kennedy spoke at 1PM. As usual, it was an honor to be in the same venue with her. You have seen me write of her often. She is the founder of Sean's Last Wish. If anyone charges my batteries, Elke definitely does.

I've changed my normal protocol and decided to post the text of my remarks from Saturday. Each word was carefully chosen, including my reference to self promotion at the expense of others. You can read the text here.

July 24, 2008

A transwoman is filing suit after being terminated from her job with the Georgia General Assembly. Read about it here. She has about as much chance winning that suit as the Panthers do the Super Bowl this year.

This is the reality in our world and is why a trans inclusive ENDA is so important. Many have, and continue to fight long and hard. It is not lost on many of us that Barney Frank said last fall that more education is needed. So far, we mostly have a lot of sniping back and forth within the transgender community about who was, or was not at fault.

The immediate task is to let society see TG people are just like anyone else who wants no more than to be who they are. Events like Pride Saturday give us a chance to educate our own 'community'. How ironic in many ways.

July 22, 2008

Tomorrow evening is the transgender event for Pride Charlotte Week. There is a showing of the motion picture, Southern Comfort . This is a documentary which chronicles the last days of Robert Eades, a transman living in Georgia. His goal was to live long enough to speak at the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta. He achieved his goal.

Dinner is being served, followed by a group discussion. We already have nine members of Charlotte Gender Alliance attending this showing.

July 20, 2008

Next weekend is Pride Charlotte. Charlotte Gender Alliance is in the process of lining up volunteers to work the booth in two hour shifts. Considering the heat, even two hours may be a stretch. One of our members created a 6' long, 2' high banner. I was moved to tears when I saw this, as it incuded our diversity statement which captures the essence of who we are as an organization, and hopefully of my life as an individual. If you click on the photo above, it will enlarge. I thought it was totally awesome.

This years' theme is 'Live, Love, Be', my three favorite subjects. I have written about the rate of hate crime violence many times. The rate of depression, suicidal ideation and even suicide itself is astronomical in the transgender community. It does not have to be. My message will be very simplistic, it's okay to be who you are, no matter who you are. The thing about love, you first must love yourself as you were created in order to share it with others.

As always, our task is that of education, both the gays inside the venue and the protestors outside. If the two ladies I met last year happen to read this, please do stop by and see us. My respect for you is greater than I can convey. I'm sure you already know that.

I'm scheduled to speak at 12:20. Elke Kennedy is speaking at 1PM, followed by my a civil war costume presentation by my friend, Stephanie Marie.

Today was a puppet show for the children at church. It was a lot of fun doing this. The topic of our presentation was 'courage', which is one of my overriding issues these days.

After service, we had a ground breaking ceremony for the new building addition, followed by a pot luck lunch. It was a wonderful day.

Yesterday was the Kappa Beta support group meeting in Charlotte. I was torn between going to this meeting and driving to Asheville for an event there. I am honored to have a friend in Elke Kennedy, Sean Kennedy's mother. She was attending, along with my friends from PFLAG Salisbury.

I mostly needed some extra sleep yesterday morning, so I stayed in Charlotte for the meeting. I will see them at Pride next Saturday. I plan to work both the Charlotte Gender Alliance and PFLAG booth at various times Saturday.

I wrote some time ago about an outreach effort to a large NC based corporation. Last month, they wrote non harrassment based upon gender identity into their EEO statement. I have now learned they are within two weeks of adding gender identity into their EEO statement. This is major! The importance could not be overstated! It will impact many areas of the southeast and will literally be life changing to both the employees and the communities they serve. They will be driven to the top echelon of the HRC Employer Index.

I told them I woud not make the announcement until all the vice presidents have signed off, but the commitments are in place. This outreach began in February 2007 and has been ongoing. The good thing about outreach, you not only accomplish important goals, you make some real friends. If my friends happen to read this, you know how proud I am of you. I will see you at your Pride booth next Saturday as well.

I have mentioned Elke Kennedy a number of times. There was a memorial service in Greenville, SC for her son on May 16, the first anniversary of his murder. Anniversary is such a poor choice of words.

After Elke's remarks at a park in downtown Greenville, we walked across a foot bridge and tossed daisys in the river below as a memorial to Sean. During he ceremony, Elke saw a white dove fly by, which seems quite significant.

After the event, I lingered on the bridge watching the sunset. I saw the picnickers below and wondered if they realized a woman was up here who had lost her son only because of who he was. I looked at the wide chasm between the two sides of the river. It made me think again of the chasm that exists between the LGBT community and the church. So many people are ostracized from the very institutions which should be most supportive. To that end, we have created an online group called TLGB Christians. We had considered being transgender inclusive only, but then we would doing the very thing against which we preach, leaving others out. Thus, everyone is welcome. This may be the most important group of all. A secular support group can change people during this life. Accepting our Savior will save us for eternity.

I mention this because I was asked this morning if I would take the position of Open and Affirming Coordinator within our church. Of course I will, but the depth of the need is so great, I'm not sure any of us is fully aware.

Lots going on this last month. I still wonder if anyone actually reads this blog, but I do need to make regular updates. I keep saying that, but living a life takes so much time.

May 2008

A friend and I went to the Charlotte Roller Girls roller derby bout this month. It was a lot of fun and the girls let fans come down to the floor after the bout for autographs and photos. You can click on the photo to enlarge. I'm sure we'll be going back.

There's a lot of things about me that my friends don't know. That should be a good attention grabber.

I have an obsession with the history of professional wrestling. I don't mean the stuff we see these days, but beginning in the early 1900's, through the carnival days and up to around 1984. And yes, I know how it all works and all the terms. I've considered writing a book on the subject. But I digress.

Penny Banner was a top female wrestler for several decades. I was fortunate to become acquainted with her during her retirement years. Penny passed away two weeks ago after a long fought battle with cancer. I had transferred some old Super 8 movies I had to video tape for her. She added some footage of her wrestling in Madison Square Garden, along with an interview. It's one of my prized possessions. Her real name was Mary Ann. To me, she will always be Penny. http://www.bannerdays.com/

Charlotte Gender Alliance is one year old. This time last year, we had no idea we would be the group we are today. We knew something like this was needed and we were proven right. A lot of our success comes from a number of non TG supporters. They know who they are and we appreciate them.

May 10, 2008

Lots going on these last couple weeks. Elke Kennedy, mother of Sean Kennedy spoke at CGA last weekend. Rather than for me to inadequately try and find words, you can visit their website, Sean's Last Wish There are certain people with whom I am honored to be in the same room. Elke is one of those people. There will be a candlelight vigil May 16 in Greenville, SC to honor Sean's life. I plan to be there.

The first time I heard Elke speak was the day of the HRC dinner in Charlotte this past February. We had a session with the Campus Pride men and women. That evening, she was presented with the Human Rights Campaign Equality Award.

This is one of those cases when from the most horrific tragedy imaginable, can come an outreach that lasts beyond a lifetime. The rate of violence against the LGBT community has been escalating in recent months. That cycle of ignorance breeding hatred can only be stopped by us.

The week prior was the NC/SC PFLAG conference in Salisbury, NC. It was a long day, but I learned a lot and met some good people. One of the presentations on chapter building showed me some things we can apply to CGA.

It's time to start planning ahead for Pride Charlotte July 26. CGA will have a table. I'm hoping we can be close to the rear entrance of Starbucks that was such a lifesaver in August last year. I am invited to be one of the speakers. The event last year was a time of meeting acquaintances I hadn't seen in ages. It was like a day long hugfest. I expect this year to be the same. We have a number of CGA folks who will be there.

This is the way we put a face on the transgender community. As I've said, most of the gay community doesn't really get us. Certainly mainstream society doesn't understand us. That's not to say things have not gotten better with the movies and talk shows. The way to gain acceptance is to meet people and let them hear our stories. This is what we are doing, not only at Pride, but other venues.

I talked with my son last week for the first time in almost two years. He's getting married this coming Tuesday. It will be a small ceremony, but I'm hoping guests will be invited, and I will be one of them. There is still a mountain to climb there, but at least I found the mountain.

The National Day of Silence

Tomorrow is the official observance of The National Day of Silence.

Winthrop University in Rock Hill, SC held their observance yesterday. I was invited to speak during the ceremonies at 8PM. I always enjoy speaking at events. Each is special in it's own way, as was this one.

This photograph is going to be one of my favorites, not because I am in it, but because of who is in it with me. You can click to enlarge the photo. These are the leaders of Campus Pride at Winthrop University. They invited me to their off campus home for dinner at 5:30 PM. I had met a few of these young people during the HRC gala in February, but these couple hours gave me time to become better acquainted.

I write a lot on this blog about courage and the quest for human dignity. These young men and women have a courage and maturity that many of us older folks would do well to develop.

As much as I enjoyed speaking at the event, spending time with them on a more personal level overshadowed anything else. I have thought all day about the courage it takes to come out in view of the horrific amount of hate crime violence we have seen these last few months.

We talk about being true to yourself and reaching out. These men and women have already learned the lesson. I thought to myself today, they already get it when many of us are still trying to figure it out. I hope my words reflect my admiration for them. I also hope I have an opportunity to see them again. They definitely charged my batteries last night, although some friends think I'm a little too over charged already. I don't think that's a bad thing.

Something else happened last night. There was another speaker who had to cancel at the very last minute. My friend, Stephanie Marie stepped up and got there in plenty of time for the ceremonies. She did an amazing job of impromptu speaking. She was actually quite amazing.

The Campus Pride leaders will probably read this. Thanks to you all for the lessons you teach us old timers.

I don't think I will need physical therapy for my neck after the accident at work. The concussion was apparantly mild because I'm mostly conscious again of what I'm doing, although a couple friends disagree on that. The neck pain is getting better gradually.

Charlotte Gender Alliance is growing faster than I woud have imagined. Our meeting in April was perhaps our best yet. I have reason to believe the May 3rd meeting will be equally powerful.

As I have said, our situation in Charlotte is somewhat unique in that we have two transgender support groups which are mutually supportive of each other. I am a member of Kappa Beta as are many of the folks in Charlotte Gender Alliance. It is often asked if there will ever be real TG Unity, specifically NC TG Unity. I honestly believe we have it in Charlotte. It's pretty awesome.

April 10, 2008

I saw my personal physician this week for a second opinion on the injury I wrote about earlier. As I knew, there is no permanent damage to my noggin, but it's still nice to hear another doctor say it.

I will begin physical therapy for the sprained neck and shoulder. I'm still not where I need to be, but as I told a friend, I've never been where I need to be. It's all relative.

I went to new The Charlotte Gay and Lesbian Community Center open house this evening. Charlotte Gender Alliance has an opportunity for this to be our permanent meeting site. I think it will be perfect, but a group of us will look at it before making a decision.

We are growing to the point our current space, cozy though it is, is getting a little cramped. Not a problem there, we planned to grow and plan to continue.

One of the cool things about these events, you always meet people you have met at other functions. Our guest last week from HRC was also there. It was good seeing her again.