Christmas Thoughts

I find myself reflecting on the meaning of Christmas more than usual this year. For me personally, this was possibly the most fulfilling Christmas ever. I even enjoyed Christmas music more than usual. I did manage to hear "Feliz Navidad" only once, so that was a blessing.

This was the year I reconciled with my two children, not having seen them in several years. I left two voices messages during the holidays to invite them over, anticipating no response. My daughter did call and said she would love to come. The call from my son came the next day. For anyone who knows me personally, you realize this was a monumental event.

I was on somewhat an emotional edge, but was proud of myself for maintaing my composure. Until that is, I asked how the dog was. The little Sheltie, Samantha, whom I loved so passed away several months ago. I suppose I was destined to 'lose it' during the evening. Even so, I did relatively well until they left.

Cristmas Eve was a candlelight service and communion at the United Church of Christ I have joined. It was such a lovely service and made Christmas very real.

I also attended the Chrismas morning services. Although there were fewer people than Christmas Eve, it was a lovely service, nonetheless. I talked with my son again Christmas evening. This sounds insignificant, but it represents a reconciliation of which I had only dreamed.

I was speaking with a lady in church Christmas morning. She made the observation that God perfects situations in His own time. I believe this is true. I have long known if we do what we feel is right in our heart, situations will eventually work out for the best. I think in a lot of lives, mine included, we get off the track. Our hearts may know what is right, but we stray.

I will share more about my church and my beliefs in future entries. Suffice it to say for now, I am of the mindset that if I think of myself as a Christian first, and a transexual secondly, the things that are genuinely right for me will come to pass. It's a matter of priorities, a lesson it has taken me a lifetime to learn.