definining ourselves

I read The Shack some months ago and subsequently passed it on to a friend who passed it to family members. Often when I visit my favorite coffee house, the conversation turns to matters of the heart.

I purchased a personal copy this weekend, one in which I will highlight the most thought provoking passages. I want to paraphrase the first one:

A bird is not defined by being grounded, but by it's ability to fly. Humans are not defined by their limitations but by the intentions God has for them; not by what they seem to be, but by everything it means to be created in His image.

Thank goodness for that basic truth. If I were defined by my weaknesses, and they are more than most people know, my life would be one of drifting, ever searching and never finding.

As a transsexual woman, I am not defined by my gender identity or a quest for sense of self. I learned long ago it was there along, only waiting to be claimed. I would hope my life is defined by how I treat others and the way I live my faith while respecting that of others.

Many of us in the transgender community, and society, misunderstand the difference between goals and life's purpose. For a transgender woman, electrolysis, facial surgery, hormone therapy or SRS (sex reassignment surgery) are only goals along the journey, not the journey's end.

Given the emotional turmoil many of us face, it becomes natural to say if we can only undergo SRS, our purpose will have been fulfilled. The reality, we already are the person we wish to be by claiming our right. My sense of self was claimed long ago. It was only by becoming vulnerable to the point I could grant myself the chance to fail that I was able to succeed.

Too many of us have the victim mentality. There comes a time when we must move from defining ourselves not as victims, but as victors.

Many of us are pushing for a trans inclusive Employment Non Discrimination Act this year. This is one of our moral imperatives. Legal protections are vital but to change the world, we must change our part of it. There is an analogy to be drawn with the civil rights movement of the sixties. It was when a community of people developed their own sense of self and a common purpose that they were able to act as one.

The purpose of the 'transgender community' will likely not be achieved in my lifetime. In truth, the ultimate purpose is the uplifting of human dignity on all levels. However, our purpose as individuals can be claimed in an instant.

I attended a Shabbat Celebration and Dinner with some Jewish friends recently. A passage from the prayer book jumped out; "Redemption will come when we grant others what we claim for ourselves". I will state it another way,'how could we insist upon equality for ourselves and not grant it to others'.

This is the crux of our problem. It lies deep within the LGBT community and also clouds the perception of many faith communities towards diversity. To ostracize a segment of the population because of who they are, defies logic. Unfortunately, we do it to each other and yet are appalled when faith communities to it to us.

The answer? Claim our victory, thus changing our part of the world, then grant others that which we claim for ourselves.