Below is a post I made three years ago today. In hindsight, I may change a word or two if I were to write it today. However, the message is the same as it has always been:
The day before Christmas Eve is one of my favorites. The following two days are always busy. This day seems like a quieter time to enjoy the season, the music and the message.
I saw the bumper sticker today, "Let Peace Begin With Me".
I began thinking of the Christmas songs we hear each year. We sing, "next year, all our troubles will be miles away". But we sang the same song last year and the years before that. Yet, our troubles remain as close as the next moment.
We sing of "Peace on Earth", but we know lasting peace will remain elusive until the final day of judgment.
Where then do we find the peace of which we sing, or the freedom from trouble which we desire? As with all things in life that truly count, a peaceful heart will come from within.
Peace will come when we accept ourselves as unique individuals, each with our unique blessing.
Peace will come when we accept others without prejudice of any kind, not merely a tacit acceptance to which we pay lip service, but acceptance without reservation or condition.
Peace from within will often require making a stand for what we know to be right, knowing it may not be popular with coworkers or friends.
Peace may entail becoming an advocate for those unable to speak for themselves. The needs are many.
Peace will not come by self promotion, or allowing our deeds to give us an inflated sense of importance.
Ultimately, peace will come when we accept the true message of Christmas, "For unto you is born this day, in the City of David, a Savior, which is Christ The Lord".
Once we accept the real meaning of Christmas, our view of our world, and ourselves is forever changed. A changed heart will be the source of our peace.
As the bumper sticker said, "Let peace begin with me".
Pamela Jones - 12/23/06
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
December 22, 2009
The Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center will again be open Christmas Day for an open house/potluck. If you happen to be close to Charlotte, we'd love to have you. Send me an email for directions.
This is the beginning of a tradition that last year was an experiment. After dinner last Christmas, we realized our discussion had become a Community Roundtable. That led us to the monthly roundtable discussions which continue even now. This month's topic was 'Diversity, are we as accepted as we think?' January's topic will be 'Domestic violence within the LGBT community'.
Below is a photo of a few of us who came to Thanksgiving dinner. I love the diversity within our community. If this isn't it, I don't know what is.
There has been conversation within the last week about the lack of understanding of transgender people within the gay community. For me, these discussions become about family. I understand the broad issue, having witnessed it the last 40 years. We have not had a discussion in the listserv as to whether our gay friends and allies should be welcome at meetings. I would find such a discussion to be morally reprehensible. As I said last week, I get crazy when it comes to family, only one of whom is Melanie.
A series of essays written by Dr. Jillian Weiss is posted on Bilerco. These essays speak to the heart of the issue of trans inclusion. This is not light reading, but it's not a light subject. You realize you've been around awhile when you remember the Mattachine Society and the Gay Liberation Front. You can link to parts two and three from this essay.
It's during Christmas and other holidays when I miss my family the most. Tears come more easily this time of year and that's not a bad thing. I will be at our church's late night Christmas Eve service and will spend Christmas evening with Melanie and her family. All in all, it's a nice Christmas.
Having someone significant in my life remains the missing piece of the puzzle. I just had a conversation with a dear friend who reminded me when I least expect it, someone will come along. I somehow have a feeling that is not destined to be. Even so, life is still pretty amazing.
This is the beginning of a tradition that last year was an experiment. After dinner last Christmas, we realized our discussion had become a Community Roundtable. That led us to the monthly roundtable discussions which continue even now. This month's topic was 'Diversity, are we as accepted as we think?' January's topic will be 'Domestic violence within the LGBT community'.
Below is a photo of a few of us who came to Thanksgiving dinner. I love the diversity within our community. If this isn't it, I don't know what is.
There has been conversation within the last week about the lack of understanding of transgender people within the gay community. For me, these discussions become about family. I understand the broad issue, having witnessed it the last 40 years. We have not had a discussion in the listserv as to whether our gay friends and allies should be welcome at meetings. I would find such a discussion to be morally reprehensible. As I said last week, I get crazy when it comes to family, only one of whom is Melanie.
A series of essays written by Dr. Jillian Weiss is posted on Bilerco. These essays speak to the heart of the issue of trans inclusion. This is not light reading, but it's not a light subject. You realize you've been around awhile when you remember the Mattachine Society and the Gay Liberation Front. You can link to parts two and three from this essay.
It's during Christmas and other holidays when I miss my family the most. Tears come more easily this time of year and that's not a bad thing. I will be at our church's late night Christmas Eve service and will spend Christmas evening with Melanie and her family. All in all, it's a nice Christmas.
Having someone significant in my life remains the missing piece of the puzzle. I just had a conversation with a dear friend who reminded me when I least expect it, someone will come along. I somehow have a feeling that is not destined to be. Even so, life is still pretty amazing.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Christine Daniels (1957-2009)
Los Angeles Times sports writer, Christine Daniels is dead at age 52. The story is making it's rounds within the transgender community. You can read about it here.
Pastor Randy of MCC in Greenville, SC officiated at her wedding before leaving L.A. He was aware she was having problems. She had detransitioned and was using her old name in her byline.
She may have detransitioned in her presentation, but she remained who she already was.
When asked how she was getting along, her reply: "just trying to get through it" could have been said by many. Was her transition really "this daily random hardship of trying to figure out gender assignment"? I believe it was much more. It was a person finding life's purpose.
Donna Rose, a transgender activist for whom I have great respect, said coming out at work was the single most terrifying thing she ever did.
She was right. It was a moment I will never forget, but it had to be done. I said from the start they did their best. I will always have utmost respect for management in that company. If any of you read this, you know my feelings already.
A number of my coworkers had known me 19 years. Once they knew the real me, I wasn't suitable to sit with at Christmas dinner that year. With other people, it became a matter of not understanding what it means to be transgender, or why I would choose this lifestyle.
The answer lies in Christine Daniels' coming out letter, "it took forty years and a million tears". This can be an agonizing and gut wrenching decision. It literally becomes a matter of life and death. I chose life.
It's not only trans or LGB people, but a world that is searching for answers while "trying to get through it". Life has to be more than "getting through it", or it's not living. I'm not sure it's even surviving.
When the final counting is done, the goal of each of us is to say "I found my way". Thinking of this story and hundreds of others, I can say that. I know who I am but more importantly, I know Whose I am. That has made the difference.
Pastor Randy of MCC in Greenville, SC officiated at her wedding before leaving L.A. He was aware she was having problems. She had detransitioned and was using her old name in her byline.
She may have detransitioned in her presentation, but she remained who she already was.
When asked how she was getting along, her reply: "just trying to get through it" could have been said by many. Was her transition really "this daily random hardship of trying to figure out gender assignment"? I believe it was much more. It was a person finding life's purpose.
Donna Rose, a transgender activist for whom I have great respect, said coming out at work was the single most terrifying thing she ever did.
She was right. It was a moment I will never forget, but it had to be done. I said from the start they did their best. I will always have utmost respect for management in that company. If any of you read this, you know my feelings already.
A number of my coworkers had known me 19 years. Once they knew the real me, I wasn't suitable to sit with at Christmas dinner that year. With other people, it became a matter of not understanding what it means to be transgender, or why I would choose this lifestyle.
The answer lies in Christine Daniels' coming out letter, "it took forty years and a million tears". This can be an agonizing and gut wrenching decision. It literally becomes a matter of life and death. I chose life.
It's not only trans or LGB people, but a world that is searching for answers while "trying to get through it". Life has to be more than "getting through it", or it's not living. I'm not sure it's even surviving.
When the final counting is done, the goal of each of us is to say "I found my way". Thinking of this story and hundreds of others, I can say that. I know who I am but more importantly, I know Whose I am. That has made the difference.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Transgender Day of Remembrance
Charlotte Gender Alliance hosted the Transgender Day of Remembrance observance at The Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center Friday, November 20th. I don't normally post my text of my remarks, but decided to make an exception.
As you have heard, ceremonies similar to this one were held around the world today and at this hour in Greensboro, Asheville and Charlotte. It is right and fitting for us to honor our sisters and brothers who have paid the ultimate price, only for being who they are.
These are more than names on a piece of paper. They are sons, daughters, friends and coworkers.
As we honor them, we honor anyone who has been stereotyped and marginalized. In the struggle for human dignity, our ultimate battle is for hearts and minds. The first victory lies within our own heart and mind.
As we seek a united LGBT community, we need to know that people can be different from us without being wrong. It is what we think of ourselves that controls our potential, not what others think we should be. We are today, the person we decided to be yesterday.
We see these names and may wonder, what defines a person’s life? Certainly our lives are not defined by sexual orientation or gender identity. The real measure of our life is what we do with our life.
You will notice the words on our banner, “Diversity will not only be respected; it will be honored.” This precept is at the heart of everything Charlotte Gender Alliance represents.
If there is to be a better future, we must disturb the present. If there is a crisis within the LGBT community, and I believe there is, it is a crisis of the heart. The task with which we are charged is to build bridges between those segments of society which have known only isolation and loneliness.
If we speak eloquently of the quest for human dignity but lack the courage to put words into action, aren’t they no more than empty words?
If we cannot grant others that dignity which we would claim for ourselves, do we not do an injustice to ourselves and others?
We may wake up each morning wondering if this is the day that our true self will become apparent and if we will be the next to be judged as worthy of violence.
There are people in this room who have lost everything they had in order to be all they were meant to be. The miracle is in learning that our own dignity is worth the price.
Many of us spend a lifetime trying conform to what others think we should be, rather than who we were intended to be. There eventually comes a time when the need to be a real person takes precedence over all else. There comes that defining moment when we must take off the mask and become genuine. Before we can give the world our best, we must first give ourselves our best. We learn that it really is okay to be who we are, no matter who we are.
It is in these defining moments when we learn how to live, rather than to merely survive, when we feel that spark of hope that lies within each of us and come to the realization that our lives have a higher purpose than we ever dreamed.
Tonight we stand upon the shoulders of those who have paved the way for us. Some day people will gather and speak of the progress we made, or the lack of it.
History will be our final judge but above all, may no person have reason to ask, “Why did you wait so long to live?”
As you have heard, ceremonies similar to this one were held around the world today and at this hour in Greensboro, Asheville and Charlotte. It is right and fitting for us to honor our sisters and brothers who have paid the ultimate price, only for being who they are.
These are more than names on a piece of paper. They are sons, daughters, friends and coworkers.
As we honor them, we honor anyone who has been stereotyped and marginalized. In the struggle for human dignity, our ultimate battle is for hearts and minds. The first victory lies within our own heart and mind.
As we seek a united LGBT community, we need to know that people can be different from us without being wrong. It is what we think of ourselves that controls our potential, not what others think we should be. We are today, the person we decided to be yesterday.
We see these names and may wonder, what defines a person’s life? Certainly our lives are not defined by sexual orientation or gender identity. The real measure of our life is what we do with our life.
You will notice the words on our banner, “Diversity will not only be respected; it will be honored.” This precept is at the heart of everything Charlotte Gender Alliance represents.
If there is to be a better future, we must disturb the present. If there is a crisis within the LGBT community, and I believe there is, it is a crisis of the heart. The task with which we are charged is to build bridges between those segments of society which have known only isolation and loneliness.
If we speak eloquently of the quest for human dignity but lack the courage to put words into action, aren’t they no more than empty words?
If we cannot grant others that dignity which we would claim for ourselves, do we not do an injustice to ourselves and others?
We may wake up each morning wondering if this is the day that our true self will become apparent and if we will be the next to be judged as worthy of violence.
There are people in this room who have lost everything they had in order to be all they were meant to be. The miracle is in learning that our own dignity is worth the price.
Many of us spend a lifetime trying conform to what others think we should be, rather than who we were intended to be. There eventually comes a time when the need to be a real person takes precedence over all else. There comes that defining moment when we must take off the mask and become genuine. Before we can give the world our best, we must first give ourselves our best. We learn that it really is okay to be who we are, no matter who we are.
It is in these defining moments when we learn how to live, rather than to merely survive, when we feel that spark of hope that lies within each of us and come to the realization that our lives have a higher purpose than we ever dreamed.
Tonight we stand upon the shoulders of those who have paved the way for us. Some day people will gather and speak of the progress we made, or the lack of it.
History will be our final judge but above all, may no person have reason to ask, “Why did you wait so long to live?”
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
November 18th, 2009
I have often said the face of the LGBT community in Charlotte has changed during the last two years. One factor in that change is the ongoing effort to bring the transgender community into the mainstream.
The Community Roundtable topic in October was, 'What would you like to know about transgender people?' This month's topic was 'violence and the LGBT community' and was an intentional segue into The Transgender Day of Remembrance observance November 20th. You can read about these and other events on the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center website.
I was invited to speak to a workshop at the annual Centralina Area Agency on Aging conference recently. Until you interact with the helping professionals, the issues facing LGBT people as they go into their senior years are not fully clear. It is always a pleasure to share with these people and it's a huge thing for them to reach out. I believe the Gay & Gray conference last April was the start of something big.
I have a friend who is a professor at Mitchell College in Statesville (near Charlotte). He organized a workshop on LGBT issues last week. He already knows how much I enjoyed this class.
My last post alluded to prioritizing. I joined Holy Trinity Lutheran Church this month. My home church and interacting with other faith communities are where I hope to find much of my focus. I remain convinced the chasm between the community and what they perceive as 'the church' is our most pressing problem.
The Community Roundtable last night was a case in point. As we discussed violence, the conversation gravitated to religion and politics. I suppose the difficulty in living our life while honoring someone else's life is fundamental to the human condition. The issues are not unique to our community. It is clear however, that we have our own issues to address. As I have said, the battle is for hearts and minds. We often must begin with our own heart.
The Community Roundtable topic in October was, 'What would you like to know about transgender people?' This month's topic was 'violence and the LGBT community' and was an intentional segue into The Transgender Day of Remembrance observance November 20th. You can read about these and other events on the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center website.
I was invited to speak to a workshop at the annual Centralina Area Agency on Aging conference recently. Until you interact with the helping professionals, the issues facing LGBT people as they go into their senior years are not fully clear. It is always a pleasure to share with these people and it's a huge thing for them to reach out. I believe the Gay & Gray conference last April was the start of something big.
I have a friend who is a professor at Mitchell College in Statesville (near Charlotte). He organized a workshop on LGBT issues last week. He already knows how much I enjoyed this class.
My last post alluded to prioritizing. I joined Holy Trinity Lutheran Church this month. My home church and interacting with other faith communities are where I hope to find much of my focus. I remain convinced the chasm between the community and what they perceive as 'the church' is our most pressing problem.
The Community Roundtable last night was a case in point. As we discussed violence, the conversation gravitated to religion and politics. I suppose the difficulty in living our life while honoring someone else's life is fundamental to the human condition. The issues are not unique to our community. It is clear however, that we have our own issues to address. As I have said, the battle is for hearts and minds. We often must begin with our own heart.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Refocusing
It is no accident that I've not posted since August. I've been in one of those periods of reevaluation and setting priorities. It's not that I'm burnt out; I'm not so sure I even believe in burnout. I do think we have to continually consider where we can be most productive. Just to be clear, it's not that I'm an especially gifted person. Everyone has something to offer, including being a good listener. Having decided to put yourself out there to be all you can, word gets out.
One word I'm learning to say is 'no'. This is not an easy thing for me, but there comes a time, especially as we get older, that we need to put some priority on our own physical and emotional wellbeing.
I find I increasingly enjoy speaking to groups on not only the transgender condition, but the human condition. I remain convinced our biggest problem is a crisis of the spirit. Irrespective of sexual orientation or gender identity, so many of us limp through life, never learning the meaning of letting go the old fears. We let past hurts define our lives, rather than reaching for the unlimited possibilities of the future.
A part of that is the ostracism of the LGBT community and organized religion, which I believe falls into the crisis of the spirit category I spoke of. This is the area that will become my top priority. The Charlotte Interfaith Connection has much yet to accomplish. I'm joining Holy Trinity Lutheran Church this coming Sunday and have found much of what I was seeking.
I keep having the thought that someone may come into my life. I have to admit after being divorced so many years, I miss having a life partner. Friends tell me the right person will come along when I least expect it, and that may well be. So far it hasn't shown signs of happening.
I've thought a lot lately about my friends at the company where I worked almost 20 years. To those of you who read this, I think of you often and will always value our friendships.
In other news, Elke Kennedy was invited to The White House last week to be present when President Obama signed the Hate Crimes Bill into law. It was a sort of vindication for her and Jim for the work they've done since Sean's death. They are back to work already, as I knew they would be.
Insofar as the Charlotte transgender community, we have some amazing things taking place. Within a month are two Community Roundtable discussions dealing with transgender issues. Attorney, Connie Vetter is presenting a Transgender Law 101 at the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center November 12th.
As last year, Charlotte Gender Alliance is presenting The Transgender Day of Remembrance observance at The Community Center November 20th at 7 PM. We will have a series of speakers followed by a candlelight service. It is a time of honoring those have lost their lives, but also a time to celebrate those who have had the courage to be who they are by 'paying it forward'. I often am in awe of the people I consider friends and associates.
One word I'm learning to say is 'no'. This is not an easy thing for me, but there comes a time, especially as we get older, that we need to put some priority on our own physical and emotional wellbeing.
I find I increasingly enjoy speaking to groups on not only the transgender condition, but the human condition. I remain convinced our biggest problem is a crisis of the spirit. Irrespective of sexual orientation or gender identity, so many of us limp through life, never learning the meaning of letting go the old fears. We let past hurts define our lives, rather than reaching for the unlimited possibilities of the future.
A part of that is the ostracism of the LGBT community and organized religion, which I believe falls into the crisis of the spirit category I spoke of. This is the area that will become my top priority. The Charlotte Interfaith Connection has much yet to accomplish. I'm joining Holy Trinity Lutheran Church this coming Sunday and have found much of what I was seeking.
I keep having the thought that someone may come into my life. I have to admit after being divorced so many years, I miss having a life partner. Friends tell me the right person will come along when I least expect it, and that may well be. So far it hasn't shown signs of happening.
I've thought a lot lately about my friends at the company where I worked almost 20 years. To those of you who read this, I think of you often and will always value our friendships.
In other news, Elke Kennedy was invited to The White House last week to be present when President Obama signed the Hate Crimes Bill into law. It was a sort of vindication for her and Jim for the work they've done since Sean's death. They are back to work already, as I knew they would be.
Insofar as the Charlotte transgender community, we have some amazing things taking place. Within a month are two Community Roundtable discussions dealing with transgender issues. Attorney, Connie Vetter is presenting a Transgender Law 101 at the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center November 12th.
As last year, Charlotte Gender Alliance is presenting The Transgender Day of Remembrance observance at The Community Center November 20th at 7 PM. We will have a series of speakers followed by a candlelight service. It is a time of honoring those have lost their lives, but also a time to celebrate those who have had the courage to be who they are by 'paying it forward'. I often am in awe of the people I consider friends and associates.
Monday, August 10, 2009
definining ourselves
I read The Shack some months ago and subsequently passed it on to a friend who passed it to family members. Often when I visit my favorite coffee house, the conversation turns to matters of the heart.
I purchased a personal copy this weekend, one in which I will highlight the most thought provoking passages. I want to paraphrase the first one:
Thank goodness for that basic truth. If I were defined by my weaknesses, and they are more than most people know, my life would be one of drifting, ever searching and never finding.
As a transsexual woman, I am not defined by my gender identity or a quest for sense of self. I learned long ago it was there along, only waiting to be claimed. I would hope my life is defined by how I treat others and the way I live my faith while respecting that of others.
Many of us in the transgender community, and society, misunderstand the difference between goals and life's purpose. For a transgender woman, electrolysis, facial surgery, hormone therapy or SRS (sex reassignment surgery) are only goals along the journey, not the journey's end.
Given the emotional turmoil many of us face, it becomes natural to say if we can only undergo SRS, our purpose will have been fulfilled. The reality, we already are the person we wish to be by claiming our right. My sense of self was claimed long ago. It was only by becoming vulnerable to the point I could grant myself the chance to fail that I was able to succeed.
Too many of us have the victim mentality. There comes a time when we must move from defining ourselves not as victims, but as victors.
Many of us are pushing for a trans inclusive Employment Non Discrimination Act this year. This is one of our moral imperatives. Legal protections are vital but to change the world, we must change our part of it. There is an analogy to be drawn with the civil rights movement of the sixties. It was when a community of people developed their own sense of self and a common purpose that they were able to act as one.
The purpose of the 'transgender community' will likely not be achieved in my lifetime. In truth, the ultimate purpose is the uplifting of human dignity on all levels. However, our purpose as individuals can be claimed in an instant.
I attended a Shabbat Celebration and Dinner with some Jewish friends recently. A passage from the prayer book jumped out; "Redemption will come when we grant others what we claim for ourselves". I will state it another way,'how could we insist upon equality for ourselves and not grant it to others'.
This is the crux of our problem. It lies deep within the LGBT community and also clouds the perception of many faith communities towards diversity. To ostracize a segment of the population because of who they are, defies logic. Unfortunately, we do it to each other and yet are appalled when faith communities to it to us.
The answer? Claim our victory, thus changing our part of the world, then grant others that which we claim for ourselves.
I purchased a personal copy this weekend, one in which I will highlight the most thought provoking passages. I want to paraphrase the first one:
A bird is not defined by being grounded, but by it's ability to fly. Humans are not defined by their limitations but by the intentions God has for them; not by what they seem to be, but by everything it means to be created in His image.
Thank goodness for that basic truth. If I were defined by my weaknesses, and they are more than most people know, my life would be one of drifting, ever searching and never finding.
As a transsexual woman, I am not defined by my gender identity or a quest for sense of self. I learned long ago it was there along, only waiting to be claimed. I would hope my life is defined by how I treat others and the way I live my faith while respecting that of others.
Many of us in the transgender community, and society, misunderstand the difference between goals and life's purpose. For a transgender woman, electrolysis, facial surgery, hormone therapy or SRS (sex reassignment surgery) are only goals along the journey, not the journey's end.
Given the emotional turmoil many of us face, it becomes natural to say if we can only undergo SRS, our purpose will have been fulfilled. The reality, we already are the person we wish to be by claiming our right. My sense of self was claimed long ago. It was only by becoming vulnerable to the point I could grant myself the chance to fail that I was able to succeed.
Too many of us have the victim mentality. There comes a time when we must move from defining ourselves not as victims, but as victors.
Many of us are pushing for a trans inclusive Employment Non Discrimination Act this year. This is one of our moral imperatives. Legal protections are vital but to change the world, we must change our part of it. There is an analogy to be drawn with the civil rights movement of the sixties. It was when a community of people developed their own sense of self and a common purpose that they were able to act as one.
The purpose of the 'transgender community' will likely not be achieved in my lifetime. In truth, the ultimate purpose is the uplifting of human dignity on all levels. However, our purpose as individuals can be claimed in an instant.
I attended a Shabbat Celebration and Dinner with some Jewish friends recently. A passage from the prayer book jumped out; "Redemption will come when we grant others what we claim for ourselves". I will state it another way,'how could we insist upon equality for ourselves and not grant it to others'.
This is the crux of our problem. It lies deep within the LGBT community and also clouds the perception of many faith communities towards diversity. To ostracize a segment of the population because of who they are, defies logic. Unfortunately, we do it to each other and yet are appalled when faith communities to it to us.
The answer? Claim our victory, thus changing our part of the world, then grant others that which we claim for ourselves.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Pride and Prejudice
Even post Pride Charlotte, there is discussion about the protestors and their plans of last weekend. In a few blogs around the country, there was discussion Sunday about what happened in Charlotte Saturday.
I won't give the organization the courtesy of adding a potential Google search, but they had announced 1,000 protestors and outreach teams. Thursday evening, I learned they would be allowed inside the venue this year. As I posted earlier, it was a non issue and their numbers were small.
These organizations are skilled at writing press releases and publicity announcements. They are not good at doing what they say. I've seen repeated examples.
We cannot, and should not ignore those who would oppose us. We do grant them a certain legitimacy that is neither deserved nor earned. Our success will come to reality in focusing on what we do right, rather than what they are hoping to do.
When we know we are on the right side of history, and the future, nothing will stop us. We are, and nothing did.
I won't give the organization the courtesy of adding a potential Google search, but they had announced 1,000 protestors and outreach teams. Thursday evening, I learned they would be allowed inside the venue this year. As I posted earlier, it was a non issue and their numbers were small.
These organizations are skilled at writing press releases and publicity announcements. They are not good at doing what they say. I've seen repeated examples.
We cannot, and should not ignore those who would oppose us. We do grant them a certain legitimacy that is neither deserved nor earned. Our success will come to reality in focusing on what we do right, rather than what they are hoping to do.
When we know we are on the right side of history, and the future, nothing will stop us. We are, and nothing did.
Monday, July 27, 2009
the bookends
The last two weeks have been extraordinary for the Charlotte LGBT community, which means they have been extraordinary for the city of Charlotte.
Charlotte Black Gay Pride took place Saturday, July 18 and it was a well done event. We spent the entire day there, representing the Charlotte Interfaith Connection, Charlotte Gender Alliance and the Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Community Center. It was a good time to network and meet some amazing people.
Two days earlier was the Town Hall meeting sponsored by Charlotte Black Gay Pride. There was some badly needed dialogue. If we do not begin to talk about the pressing issues of the day, nothing will ever happen.
Tuesday of last week was the Charlotte Gender Alliance transgender event at the Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Community Center. We called it The Transgender Living Experience and Library. Mostly I sat and watched the talented people in our group do what they do best. Stephanie Marie did a wonderful job organizing. I have said so many times that our only real asset is our members. This event proved that fact.
Thursday evening last week was the second Community Roundtable at the Community Center. The topic was LGBT issues in the workplace and the turnout surprised even me. When people don't want to leave, we know we're doing the right thing. Some folks stayed an hour later and a few of us didn't leave until almost midnight. Attendance was way up over the first meeting. This will become a regular monthly event.
The bookends culminated in Pride Charlotte at Gateway Center Saturday, July 25. The Charlotte Observer estimated the crowd at 10,000 and it was easily that. Beyond a doubt, this was the largest and best organized Pride event I've been to.
We were concerned about protestors this year as a certain organization had supposedly organized 1,000 people for their 'outreach'. Their numbers were more like 450, if that, and they were mostly a non issue.
These days are always like coming home and meeting friends you may not have seen in a while. I was spread thin trying to spend time at Charlotte Gender Alliance, Sean's Last Wish, Charlotte Interfaith Connection and the Community Center Booth. It was worth every second of the time and the folks who did the real work were the Pride organizers and volunteers. For an event of this magnitude to take place while anticipating a mob of protestors is a huge achievement.
Also a huge achievement is the sense of unity I continue to see in Charlotte and North Carolina. We once thought of the transgender community as a separate entity and marginalized even by the LGBT community. Those days are gone.
The realization of the Charlotte Interfaith Connection is the result of what happens when people of passion come together. What was once only a dream is a vibrant organization dedicated to demonstrating to the LGBT community that there really are churches, temples and synogagues that welcome us with open arms. Our direct mail campaign several months ago was a major success.
We knew we would be reaching the churches and the community itself. We also reached out to each other. The support from our clergy, Pastor Nancy Kraft of Holy Trinity Lutheran Church and Rev. Ryusho Jeffus from the Buddhist Temple has shown the world first hand that we are what we say, open and inclusive. Our friends from Temple Beth El have invited us to a number of their events. We have only begun our work.
Elke Kennedy of Sean's Last Wish gave an impassioned speech clarifying the moral imperative of the Matthew Shepherd Hate Crimes Prevention Act.
I had the privilege of speaking at 4:15. My message is simple; the old days are past and now is the time for unity. There are two things we can do, something, or nothing. Together we can change the world.
Some of us have seen the future these past few months. I believe the future becomes the present through sheer will power. As I said elsewhere this morning, when you know you are on the right side of history and the future, nothing can stop you. We are, and nothing did.
What a fantastic week!
Charlotte Black Gay Pride took place Saturday, July 18 and it was a well done event. We spent the entire day there, representing the Charlotte Interfaith Connection, Charlotte Gender Alliance and the Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Community Center. It was a good time to network and meet some amazing people.
Two days earlier was the Town Hall meeting sponsored by Charlotte Black Gay Pride. There was some badly needed dialogue. If we do not begin to talk about the pressing issues of the day, nothing will ever happen.
Tuesday of last week was the Charlotte Gender Alliance transgender event at the Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Community Center. We called it The Transgender Living Experience and Library. Mostly I sat and watched the talented people in our group do what they do best. Stephanie Marie did a wonderful job organizing. I have said so many times that our only real asset is our members. This event proved that fact.
Thursday evening last week was the second Community Roundtable at the Community Center. The topic was LGBT issues in the workplace and the turnout surprised even me. When people don't want to leave, we know we're doing the right thing. Some folks stayed an hour later and a few of us didn't leave until almost midnight. Attendance was way up over the first meeting. This will become a regular monthly event.
The bookends culminated in Pride Charlotte at Gateway Center Saturday, July 25. The Charlotte Observer estimated the crowd at 10,000 and it was easily that. Beyond a doubt, this was the largest and best organized Pride event I've been to.
We were concerned about protestors this year as a certain organization had supposedly organized 1,000 people for their 'outreach'. Their numbers were more like 450, if that, and they were mostly a non issue.
These days are always like coming home and meeting friends you may not have seen in a while. I was spread thin trying to spend time at Charlotte Gender Alliance, Sean's Last Wish, Charlotte Interfaith Connection and the Community Center Booth. It was worth every second of the time and the folks who did the real work were the Pride organizers and volunteers. For an event of this magnitude to take place while anticipating a mob of protestors is a huge achievement.
Also a huge achievement is the sense of unity I continue to see in Charlotte and North Carolina. We once thought of the transgender community as a separate entity and marginalized even by the LGBT community. Those days are gone.
The realization of the Charlotte Interfaith Connection is the result of what happens when people of passion come together. What was once only a dream is a vibrant organization dedicated to demonstrating to the LGBT community that there really are churches, temples and synogagues that welcome us with open arms. Our direct mail campaign several months ago was a major success.
We knew we would be reaching the churches and the community itself. We also reached out to each other. The support from our clergy, Pastor Nancy Kraft of Holy Trinity Lutheran Church and Rev. Ryusho Jeffus from the Buddhist Temple has shown the world first hand that we are what we say, open and inclusive. Our friends from Temple Beth El have invited us to a number of their events. We have only begun our work.
Elke Kennedy of Sean's Last Wish gave an impassioned speech clarifying the moral imperative of the Matthew Shepherd Hate Crimes Prevention Act.
I had the privilege of speaking at 4:15. My message is simple; the old days are past and now is the time for unity. There are two things we can do, something, or nothing. Together we can change the world.
Some of us have seen the future these past few months. I believe the future becomes the present through sheer will power. As I said elsewhere this morning, when you know you are on the right side of history and the future, nothing can stop you. We are, and nothing did.
What a fantastic week!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Pride month
When I look at the calendar for July, I wonder how it ever got so full. We have Charlotte Black Gay Pride July 18 and Pride Charlotte July 25. Between and around those two dates are a number of LGBT events.
Charlotte Gender Alliance is presenting The Transgender Living Experience and Library July 21 at The Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center. A member, Stephanie Marie is organizing the event and I have no doubt it will be first class.
I've told some of the groups here that I came out 40 years ago this month, the exact time of the Stonewall Riots. I know we have a lot of progress to yet make but sometimes we need to stop and realize how far we've come.
I am convinced that Charlotte Gender Alliance has helped change the face of the LGBT community in Charlotte and thus, the city itself. Oh, I still have gay friends who say they don't understand transgender people. I totally respect that and some of us don't understand them. As always, the key is in listening to each other.
Speaking of listening to each other, the Community Roundtable last month was such a success that we're making it a regular event. The next roundtable will be July 23, two days before Pride. This year's Pride theme is 'Out is In'. Building upon that, this month's roundtable topic will be 'Out is in....in the workplace environment". I should add, 'or the lack of a workplace environment'. One of the ground rules will be that no labels are to be used. Our lives are not defined by being LGBT and I think we all have enough labels in our day to day lives. You can click here to visit the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center website.
The Charlotte Interfaith Connection continues to be a blessing. The purpose was to reach out to other faith communities and the LGBT community. We've also become friends with each other. I went to a July 4 cookout with some friends from Temple Beth El. Ryusho, priest at the Buddhist Temple in Charlotte has become a dear friend.
This organization has shown again that we not only need to think outside the box. We have to step outside the box and outside our comfort zone. As I say so often, we have to allow ourselves to fail before we can succeed. It took me a long time to learn that.
Charlotte Gender Alliance is presenting The Transgender Living Experience and Library July 21 at The Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center. A member, Stephanie Marie is organizing the event and I have no doubt it will be first class.
I've told some of the groups here that I came out 40 years ago this month, the exact time of the Stonewall Riots. I know we have a lot of progress to yet make but sometimes we need to stop and realize how far we've come.
I am convinced that Charlotte Gender Alliance has helped change the face of the LGBT community in Charlotte and thus, the city itself. Oh, I still have gay friends who say they don't understand transgender people. I totally respect that and some of us don't understand them. As always, the key is in listening to each other.
Speaking of listening to each other, the Community Roundtable last month was such a success that we're making it a regular event. The next roundtable will be July 23, two days before Pride. This year's Pride theme is 'Out is In'. Building upon that, this month's roundtable topic will be 'Out is in....in the workplace environment". I should add, 'or the lack of a workplace environment'. One of the ground rules will be that no labels are to be used. Our lives are not defined by being LGBT and I think we all have enough labels in our day to day lives. You can click here to visit the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center website.
The Charlotte Interfaith Connection continues to be a blessing. The purpose was to reach out to other faith communities and the LGBT community. We've also become friends with each other. I went to a July 4 cookout with some friends from Temple Beth El. Ryusho, priest at the Buddhist Temple in Charlotte has become a dear friend.
This organization has shown again that we not only need to think outside the box. We have to step outside the box and outside our comfort zone. As I say so often, we have to allow ourselves to fail before we can succeed. It took me a long time to learn that.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
NC Governor signs two bills on bullying/sex ed.
NC Governor Bev Berdue signed the School Violence Prevention Act and the Healthy Youth Act into law last evening. Both pieces of legislation include 'gender identity'. Congratulations and thanks to Equality North Carolina for not giving up! You can read about it here.
A friend just sent a piece from AP that the Obama administration will not appeal the $500,000 settlement awarded Diane Schroer whose job offer from the Library of Congress was rescinded when she announced her decision to transition from male to female.
That's at least some good news. On the other side, Sean Kennedy's killer was released one week early today. His sentence had already been reduced for good behavior. I hope this young man finds a sense of purpose in his life because surely there is one.
Speaking of finding your life's purpose, I finished reading 'The Shack' yesterday. It was as empowering as I'd been told. It turned a new light on certain issues of my faith walk. Emotional barely describes the feeling.
A friend just sent a piece from AP that the Obama administration will not appeal the $500,000 settlement awarded Diane Schroer whose job offer from the Library of Congress was rescinded when she announced her decision to transition from male to female.
That's at least some good news. On the other side, Sean Kennedy's killer was released one week early today. His sentence had already been reduced for good behavior. I hope this young man finds a sense of purpose in his life because surely there is one.
Speaking of finding your life's purpose, I finished reading 'The Shack' yesterday. It was as empowering as I'd been told. It turned a new light on certain issues of my faith walk. Emotional barely describes the feeling.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Charlotte Interfaith Connection
The Charlotte Interfaith Connection website is online. You can visit via this link.
Not everyone agrees but I continue to believe the most serious issue facing the community is ostracism from the church. It is a fact much of the discrimination we face originates in 'organized religion'. The Charlotte Interfaith Connection mailed a letter to every faith community in Charlotte last month. It was the right thing to do. We received a number of letters of support and added one O&A church to our links. There were several who are in the process of becoming welcoming and we are preparing to reach a hand out to them to offer help. We did not receive any negative responses. Somehow I was not surprised.
We are finalized on our booth at Pride Charlotte July 25th. That is going to be one busy day with three booths to work. We are also having a booth at Charlotte Black Gay Pride July 18th. That one is in Marshall Park downtown so we will bring a tent.
Today is the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. I had just come out myself that summer and remember reading about the event in the tabloids. My friend Robbi Cohn has an insightful piece in the latest edition of Q-Notes. You can read it here.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Stonewall was the beginning of the Gay Liberation Front. The major issue with the transgender community (a word not even in use at that time) was the wisdom of aligning with the LGB community. Discussions were intense and rifts were created among friends. It did not take long for the Queens Liberation Front to come into being. I have a photo of Lee Brewster at a QLF Rally in Central Park in the summer of 1971.
Even with our advances, and there have been many, we still don't get each other the way we must if we are to achieve our common goals. Issues remain among certain organizations about accepting gay people or transsexuals. It is not unique to any one faction. Forty years later and it continues. The difference now, it's about family....the issue upon which there is no compromise.
The reality is that it is time for unity. Now is the time to seriously build bridges among varied segments of the LGBT and even the transgender community. Sometimes I think one of the side effects of being out so long is that patience is often short. I was looking at some correspondence from that time the other day and the verbage is exactly the same today. It makes me crazy sometimes.
We have the ability to change the world but we have to start with our part of it. The first LGBT Community Roundtable was held in Charlotte last week. It was a total success. I knew that when some folks wanted to meet sooner than August, even with all the Pride events in Charlotte this month. Hopefully we can arrange it.
This is what I mean about building bridges to the faith communities and among our LGBT friends. This is what we are charged to do so my patience will no doubt continue to wear thin.
Not everyone agrees but I continue to believe the most serious issue facing the community is ostracism from the church. It is a fact much of the discrimination we face originates in 'organized religion'. The Charlotte Interfaith Connection mailed a letter to every faith community in Charlotte last month. It was the right thing to do. We received a number of letters of support and added one O&A church to our links. There were several who are in the process of becoming welcoming and we are preparing to reach a hand out to them to offer help. We did not receive any negative responses. Somehow I was not surprised.
We are finalized on our booth at Pride Charlotte July 25th. That is going to be one busy day with three booths to work. We are also having a booth at Charlotte Black Gay Pride July 18th. That one is in Marshall Park downtown so we will bring a tent.
Today is the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. I had just come out myself that summer and remember reading about the event in the tabloids. My friend Robbi Cohn has an insightful piece in the latest edition of Q-Notes. You can read it here.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Stonewall was the beginning of the Gay Liberation Front. The major issue with the transgender community (a word not even in use at that time) was the wisdom of aligning with the LGB community. Discussions were intense and rifts were created among friends. It did not take long for the Queens Liberation Front to come into being. I have a photo of Lee Brewster at a QLF Rally in Central Park in the summer of 1971.
Even with our advances, and there have been many, we still don't get each other the way we must if we are to achieve our common goals. Issues remain among certain organizations about accepting gay people or transsexuals. It is not unique to any one faction. Forty years later and it continues. The difference now, it's about family....the issue upon which there is no compromise.
The reality is that it is time for unity. Now is the time to seriously build bridges among varied segments of the LGBT and even the transgender community. Sometimes I think one of the side effects of being out so long is that patience is often short. I was looking at some correspondence from that time the other day and the verbage is exactly the same today. It makes me crazy sometimes.
We have the ability to change the world but we have to start with our part of it. The first LGBT Community Roundtable was held in Charlotte last week. It was a total success. I knew that when some folks wanted to meet sooner than August, even with all the Pride events in Charlotte this month. Hopefully we can arrange it.
This is what I mean about building bridges to the faith communities and among our LGBT friends. This is what we are charged to do so my patience will no doubt continue to wear thin.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
May 27, 2009
Whenever the LGBT community sits down for conversation, the subject of organized religion invariably comes up and with it, the fact we have been ostracized by the church. Arguably this is where much of the discrimination against the community originates.
This past Friday something unique happened in Charlotte. Members of Charlotte Interfaith Connection completed a mass mailing to every church and faith community in the city. My count was 411 but there may have been more and we may have inadvertantly missed a couple. I will say we did not mail the fundamentalist churches. We must pick our battles and will mail them later. No one is ever written off. Besides which, we will no doubt see them at Pride.
We sent a letter asking each house of worship where they are with the issue of Open & Affirming and included a questionnaire along with a return envelope. The phrase, 'if you want what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done' comes to mind. This was something I never thought I would see but there is nothing more important.
The content of the responses will determine how we word the brochure we will distribute at Pride Charlotte in July. As I said, this is rather unique.
I don't talk a lot about my personal life, mainly because I'm a private person but something happened recently that completely overwhelmed me.
I'm one of those people who finds writing easier in a coffee house surrounded by people. Brueggers Bagel has become a favorite. If you go to these places often enough, you become friends with the people there. It's like a Cheers bar except you drink coffee and drive home wide awake.
Two weeks ago my friend Ronda was off work but had left me a card. It was a thank you card for being so kind to her and touching her life. The first thought I had was what I always manage to work into my remarks when I'm invited to speak. There was a time long ago, before transition when I would have been afraid to even go in the place. I had to allow myself to become vulnerable in life in order to become strong. I had to be willing to fail. It's about being the person you were created. Ronda when you read this, you know how important you are in my life also. I have framed that card because it is significant on a number of levels.
Sometimes we don't realize the lessons we have learned until something happens to bring back the memories of the not so good days. Many in our community have plenty of those days.
A few friends and I will be having dinner at Denny's very soon. Why is that important? This link will explain. This stuff makes me nuts.
I alluded to community dialogue at the beginning of this post. We are doing exactly that at the LGBT Community Center the evening of June 23. I continually hear trans people say the gay community doesn't 'get us'. They are often right. Sometimes we don't get them. We can begin to do something about that with the roundtable discussion.
It is also gratifying to have the continuing opportunity to interact on transgender issues with Equality North Carolina. If you'd like to take a look at their interesting blog, you can see it here. My dear friend, Robbi made the post for this past Monday.
Their website is regularly updated to keep up with pending legislation in North Carolina.
To end today on a personal note, some friends wonder how I stay so optimistic, at least most of the time. I'm one of those people who always assumes everything will work out for the best. Things pretty much always do. This one is a little harder. I have a two month old grandson I have not seen. I have seen his photos on my son's Myspace front page. He's such a fine looking boy. Ever the optimist, I know the one constant in life is change. This too will work out for the best. It always does.
This past Friday something unique happened in Charlotte. Members of Charlotte Interfaith Connection completed a mass mailing to every church and faith community in the city. My count was 411 but there may have been more and we may have inadvertantly missed a couple. I will say we did not mail the fundamentalist churches. We must pick our battles and will mail them later. No one is ever written off. Besides which, we will no doubt see them at Pride.
We sent a letter asking each house of worship where they are with the issue of Open & Affirming and included a questionnaire along with a return envelope. The phrase, 'if you want what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done' comes to mind. This was something I never thought I would see but there is nothing more important.
The content of the responses will determine how we word the brochure we will distribute at Pride Charlotte in July. As I said, this is rather unique.
I don't talk a lot about my personal life, mainly because I'm a private person but something happened recently that completely overwhelmed me.
I'm one of those people who finds writing easier in a coffee house surrounded by people. Brueggers Bagel has become a favorite. If you go to these places often enough, you become friends with the people there. It's like a Cheers bar except you drink coffee and drive home wide awake.
Two weeks ago my friend Ronda was off work but had left me a card. It was a thank you card for being so kind to her and touching her life. The first thought I had was what I always manage to work into my remarks when I'm invited to speak. There was a time long ago, before transition when I would have been afraid to even go in the place. I had to allow myself to become vulnerable in life in order to become strong. I had to be willing to fail. It's about being the person you were created. Ronda when you read this, you know how important you are in my life also. I have framed that card because it is significant on a number of levels.
Sometimes we don't realize the lessons we have learned until something happens to bring back the memories of the not so good days. Many in our community have plenty of those days.
A few friends and I will be having dinner at Denny's very soon. Why is that important? This link will explain. This stuff makes me nuts.
I alluded to community dialogue at the beginning of this post. We are doing exactly that at the LGBT Community Center the evening of June 23. I continually hear trans people say the gay community doesn't 'get us'. They are often right. Sometimes we don't get them. We can begin to do something about that with the roundtable discussion.
It is also gratifying to have the continuing opportunity to interact on transgender issues with Equality North Carolina. If you'd like to take a look at their interesting blog, you can see it here. My dear friend, Robbi made the post for this past Monday.
Their website is regularly updated to keep up with pending legislation in North Carolina.
To end today on a personal note, some friends wonder how I stay so optimistic, at least most of the time. I'm one of those people who always assumes everything will work out for the best. Things pretty much always do. This one is a little harder. I have a two month old grandson I have not seen. I have seen his photos on my son's Myspace front page. He's such a fine looking boy. Ever the optimist, I know the one constant in life is change. This too will work out for the best. It always does.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Break the Silence Before the Violence
This Saturday May 16 will be two years since the murder of Sean Kennedy. There will be a candlelight vigil in Greenville, SC this coming Sunday at 6 PM. It's hard to comprehend that there would even be debate on hate crime and anti bullying legislation both at the state and federal level.
There has been a less than overwhelming response to the passing of Virginia Prince. At most there have been announcements and a brief description of her as a pioneer in many of the blogs and newsgroups. Many may disagree but this is not an altogether bad thing. As I said, we respect the pioneers but look to the future. Unfortunately there are a few yet today who would remain mired in the past. To those who feel that way, I remind you again our future lies in a united LGBT community. The days of closeted support groups are over if indeed they ever were a good idea. The fear or the inability to change can stifle a support group as easily as it can an individual.
There has been a less than overwhelming response to the passing of Virginia Prince. At most there have been announcements and a brief description of her as a pioneer in many of the blogs and newsgroups. Many may disagree but this is not an altogether bad thing. As I said, we respect the pioneers but look to the future. Unfortunately there are a few yet today who would remain mired in the past. To those who feel that way, I remind you again our future lies in a united LGBT community. The days of closeted support groups are over if indeed they ever were a good idea. The fear or the inability to change can stifle a support group as easily as it can an individual.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Homophobia is alive and well
The Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Prevention Act was reintroduced in the United States Senate last week. On April 29, North Carolina Representative Virginia Foxx made the statement that Matthew Shepard's murder was not a hate crime, but a robbery gone bad.
You can read about it and view the video via Media Matters and The Equality NC Blog.
Aside from calling attention to Rep. Foxx's absurd comments, I want to say well done to the good people at PFLAG Winston Salem. People of passion always stand up when the time comes and these folks definitely are. They are planning a number of events and/or actions. If any of you should read this, I salute you in whatever you do. You are an inspiration.
The implication that Matthew Shepard's murder was not a hate crime is beyond the pale. Coincidentally Elke Kennedy has been in Washington the last week. I hope we will be able to announce some new elements to the outreach and educational initiative's of Sean's Last Wish soon. The second year since Sean's murder is May 16.
Virginia Prince has passed away. She was the original founder of Free Personality Expression, which has been known as Tri Ess for many years. Anyone who was close to the transgender community in years past knows the controversy surrounding Virginia. The issue of a closed versus open group was debated in 1970 and, amazingly to me, continues to rear it's head here and there.
I was always on the side of total inclusion since I've always had this thing about embracing diversity. I said recently that those who advocate a closed group are on the wrong side of history. In hindsight, I believe that is incorrect. It was on the right side of history in 1960 when it was illegal to walk out the door crossdressed. Today it is on the wrong side of the future.
Times have thankfully changed, as have we. The question now is that of unified community. To debate whether to be unified is no longer an option. It is tantamount to a discussion of the validity of a person's skin color. I suggest to those who would even question whether the trans community should be part of the broader LGBT community, it's a non issue. We are forever joined and our cause is the same, the right to be who we are.
While we should honor and respect those who have paved the way, or as I often say, provided the shoulders upon which we stand, we must look to the future. What worked in 1960 won't work in 2010. People grow and a community grows. Thank heaven for it!
Melanie is doing better after the fall. I would have bet we'd have her in the hospital this week but she's actually doing pretty well, a little banged up but hanging in there.
You can read about it and view the video via Media Matters and The Equality NC Blog.
Aside from calling attention to Rep. Foxx's absurd comments, I want to say well done to the good people at PFLAG Winston Salem. People of passion always stand up when the time comes and these folks definitely are. They are planning a number of events and/or actions. If any of you should read this, I salute you in whatever you do. You are an inspiration.
The implication that Matthew Shepard's murder was not a hate crime is beyond the pale. Coincidentally Elke Kennedy has been in Washington the last week. I hope we will be able to announce some new elements to the outreach and educational initiative's of Sean's Last Wish soon. The second year since Sean's murder is May 16.
Virginia Prince has passed away. She was the original founder of Free Personality Expression, which has been known as Tri Ess for many years. Anyone who was close to the transgender community in years past knows the controversy surrounding Virginia. The issue of a closed versus open group was debated in 1970 and, amazingly to me, continues to rear it's head here and there.
I was always on the side of total inclusion since I've always had this thing about embracing diversity. I said recently that those who advocate a closed group are on the wrong side of history. In hindsight, I believe that is incorrect. It was on the right side of history in 1960 when it was illegal to walk out the door crossdressed. Today it is on the wrong side of the future.
Times have thankfully changed, as have we. The question now is that of unified community. To debate whether to be unified is no longer an option. It is tantamount to a discussion of the validity of a person's skin color. I suggest to those who would even question whether the trans community should be part of the broader LGBT community, it's a non issue. We are forever joined and our cause is the same, the right to be who we are.
While we should honor and respect those who have paved the way, or as I often say, provided the shoulders upon which we stand, we must look to the future. What worked in 1960 won't work in 2010. People grow and a community grows. Thank heaven for it!
Melanie is doing better after the fall. I would have bet we'd have her in the hospital this week but she's actually doing pretty well, a little banged up but hanging in there.
Monday, May 04, 2009
May 4, 2009
Charlotte Gender Alliance will be two years old June 1st. The organization has come a long way since the first meeting when we had four of us around a dinner table. I knew it was the right thing to do. We also know any organization's greatest asset is it's people. I knew it was a good idea last year when we began rotating facilitators each month. It keeps ideas flowing and perhaps more important, brings new people into a position of leadership.
I also knew it was a good idea when we moved into The Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Community Center this past January. If anything, that has been the pivotal move for the organization. It's helped build bridges to the community and let us developed allies a lot of friends were never able to understand.
I could easily let myself become spread thin these days but that hasn't happened. The fact we have people of passion with leadership ability stepping to the forefront is why our organization will be a strong force for unity and education for a long time to come. Most of all, it will be about support. Above all it will be as stated on our banner and website, "Diversity will not only be respected; it will be honored". It will never be any other way.
I might also add it's a privilege to serve on The Board of Trustees at The Community Center. We have some good things ahead so stay tuned.
Anyone who has known me more than five minutes knows about my dear kindred spirit, Melanie. We had a scare this weekend. She's had trouble with her back for months. She slipped on gravel and hit her head on the car door over the weekend. We took her to the hospital for a possible concussion but the real problem became with her back. On a ten scale, her pain was a ten. She's resting but I suspect we'll be getting her to her personal physician next week. This one scared me.
I also knew it was a good idea when we moved into The Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Community Center this past January. If anything, that has been the pivotal move for the organization. It's helped build bridges to the community and let us developed allies a lot of friends were never able to understand.
I could easily let myself become spread thin these days but that hasn't happened. The fact we have people of passion with leadership ability stepping to the forefront is why our organization will be a strong force for unity and education for a long time to come. Most of all, it will be about support. Above all it will be as stated on our banner and website, "Diversity will not only be respected; it will be honored". It will never be any other way.
I might also add it's a privilege to serve on The Board of Trustees at The Community Center. We have some good things ahead so stay tuned.
Anyone who has known me more than five minutes knows about my dear kindred spirit, Melanie. We had a scare this weekend. She's had trouble with her back for months. She slipped on gravel and hit her head on the car door over the weekend. We took her to the hospital for a possible concussion but the real problem became with her back. On a ten scale, her pain was a ten. She's resting but I suspect we'll be getting her to her personal physician next week. This one scared me.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Gay and Gray - at the crossroads
Thanks again to The Centralina Area Agency on Aging for sponsoring the Gay and Gray conference these last two days. It was an honor to be there and to have the opportunity to share from a first person transgender perspective.
The event was more than I expected. There were issues presented that hit home in a rather personal way. Today was primarily aimed at the helping professionals. As always there was time to meet old and new friends, along with some networking. It was a most worthwhile two days.
As a follow up on the murder trial of Allen Andrade, murderer of Angie Zapata, most people have heard by now he was convicted of a bias motivated crime. As such he will serve a lifetime sentence with no possibility of parole.
This is a landmark case inasmuch as it was the first conviction of the murderer of a transgender person based upon hate crime legislation. We hope the day will come when all states have equal protection. At this moment, South Carolina has no hate crime legislation while North Carolina's statutes are sorely lacking.
In that same line of thought, Equality North Carolina makes the following announcement:
If you live in North Carolina, you are encouraged to email your state senator and urge passage of this important legislation.
The event was more than I expected. There were issues presented that hit home in a rather personal way. Today was primarily aimed at the helping professionals. As always there was time to meet old and new friends, along with some networking. It was a most worthwhile two days.
As a follow up on the murder trial of Allen Andrade, murderer of Angie Zapata, most people have heard by now he was convicted of a bias motivated crime. As such he will serve a lifetime sentence with no possibility of parole.
This is a landmark case inasmuch as it was the first conviction of the murderer of a transgender person based upon hate crime legislation. We hope the day will come when all states have equal protection. At this moment, South Carolina has no hate crime legislation while North Carolina's statutes are sorely lacking.
In that same line of thought, Equality North Carolina makes the following announcement:
"4/29/2009 - In a whirlwind of legislative action today, the Senate Mental Health & Youth Services Committee passed both the School Violence Prevention Act (SB 526) and the Healthy Youth Act (HB 88). The bills now go to the Senate floor for a vote, possibly as soon as early next week. Equality NC and our coalition partners are working to ensure passage of both bills."
If you live in North Carolina, you are encouraged to email your state senator and urge passage of this important legislation.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Gay & Gray - at the crossroads
The Gay & Gray Conference to address issues pertaining to LGBT seniors is being held in Charlotte next week. I will have an opportunity to speak to the helping professionals Wednesday. The Tuesday evening session is free to the public. The needs of this segment of the community are often overlooked. Thanks to The Centralina Area Agency on Aging for offering this conference.
I've been DVR'ing much of the Angie Zapata murder trial or more accurately the Allen Andrade murder trial. Jury instructions are being read as I type this. The issue is not whether he did it but whether it was a hate crime. Supposedly he went over the edge when he found Angie was transgender. Yet the evidence says he knew much earlier. Moreover in a telephone conversation from the jail, he said "gay things need to die".
This is one more example of the dehumanizing homophobia we see to varying degrees in society even today. It happens with people who should know better. A Court TV reporter cited a statistic that a transgender person has a 1 in 12 chance of being murdered. Whether it's that high, I don't know. However the chances of being subjected to harrasment or violence are astronomically high. It is incomprehensible to me that some people in the local transgender community do not yet think in terms of a united LGBT community.
A number of transgender people are in Greely, CO covering the trial. An excellent blog can be read here.
I've been DVR'ing much of the Angie Zapata murder trial or more accurately the Allen Andrade murder trial. Jury instructions are being read as I type this. The issue is not whether he did it but whether it was a hate crime. Supposedly he went over the edge when he found Angie was transgender. Yet the evidence says he knew much earlier. Moreover in a telephone conversation from the jail, he said "gay things need to die".
This is one more example of the dehumanizing homophobia we see to varying degrees in society even today. It happens with people who should know better. A Court TV reporter cited a statistic that a transgender person has a 1 in 12 chance of being murdered. Whether it's that high, I don't know. However the chances of being subjected to harrasment or violence are astronomically high. It is incomprehensible to me that some people in the local transgender community do not yet think in terms of a united LGBT community.
A number of transgender people are in Greely, CO covering the trial. An excellent blog can be read here.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Angie Zapata
The trial for the accused murderer of Angie Zapata began Tuesday April 14th. Court TV is covering the proceedings. Family and supporters have begun a personal website. Visit it here.
They have played the audio of phone calls the accused murderer made from the jail after he was arrested. Some of the verbage had to be bleeped out. Naturally I thought of Sean Kennedy and the fact the family was not even allowed to hear recordings of the voice mails Sean's killer left until after the trial.
Opening statements in the Angie Zapata trial are still taking place.
Sean's murderer will be released July 7th. We will have a vigil in Greenville, SC Sunday evening May 17th to commemorate two years since Sean's murder. I can't bring myself to call it a second anniversary.
My dear friend Ana invited me to her home church in Winston Salem last evening for a showing of Call Me Malcom. It's always amazing you can meet or listen to a total stranger and instantly relate to what he/she has lived through.
It was so nice meeting folks from another United Church of Christ. Visiting another church is always like coming home.
They have played the audio of phone calls the accused murderer made from the jail after he was arrested. Some of the verbage had to be bleeped out. Naturally I thought of Sean Kennedy and the fact the family was not even allowed to hear recordings of the voice mails Sean's killer left until after the trial.
Opening statements in the Angie Zapata trial are still taking place.
Sean's murderer will be released July 7th. We will have a vigil in Greenville, SC Sunday evening May 17th to commemorate two years since Sean's murder. I can't bring myself to call it a second anniversary.
My dear friend Ana invited me to her home church in Winston Salem last evening for a showing of Call Me Malcom. It's always amazing you can meet or listen to a total stranger and instantly relate to what he/she has lived through.
It was so nice meeting folks from another United Church of Christ. Visiting another church is always like coming home.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
April 16, 2009
We spent 12 hours at UNC Charlotte yesterday. The updated educational panels with the voice mails from the night of Sean's murder moved a lot of people.
Last year I spoke at Winthrop University and had the same feeling. There is something about seeing our future leaders come to the forefront that moves me to tears. These young folks are amazing. If any of you read this, I am proud to have met you all.
A drag performer was murdered in Fayetteville, NC two nights ago. You can read the article via this link at Pam's House Blend. It just goes on and on. In the auditorium last night there were photographs of slain LGBT people on the screen. Signs were posted outside with many photos. Then I come home and read this.
There is an issue of whether she identified as gender variant. What I do know is she identified as a human being.
Last year I spoke at Winthrop University and had the same feeling. There is something about seeing our future leaders come to the forefront that moves me to tears. These young folks are amazing. If any of you read this, I am proud to have met you all.
A drag performer was murdered in Fayetteville, NC two nights ago. You can read the article via this link at Pam's House Blend. It just goes on and on. In the auditorium last night there were photographs of slain LGBT people on the screen. Signs were posted outside with many photos. Then I come home and read this.
There is an issue of whether she identified as gender variant. What I do know is she identified as a human being.
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