Peace on Earth

Below is the text of a piece I wrote December 23rd, 2006. It's pretty simple but seems appropriate again this year.

The day before Christmas Eve is one of my favorites. The following two days are always busy. This day seems like a quieter time to enjoy the season, the music and the message.

I saw the bumper sticker today, "Let Peace Begin With Me".

I began thinking of the Christmas songs we hear each year. We sing "next year, all our troubles will be miles away". But we sang the same song last year and the years before that. Yet our troubles remain as close as the next moment.

We sing of "Peace on Earth", but we know lasting peace will remain elusive until the final day of judgment.

Where then do we find the peace of which we sing or the freedom from trouble which we desire? As with all things in life that truly count, a peaceful heart will come from within.

Peace will come when we accept ourselves as unique individuals, each with our unique blessing.

Peace will come when we accept others without prejudice of any kind, not merely a tacit acceptance to which we pay lip service, but acceptance without reservation or condition.

Peace from within will often require making a stand for what we know to be right, knowing it may not be popular with coworkers or friends.

Peace may entail becoming an advocate for those unable to speak for themselves. The needs are many.

Peace will not come by self promotion or allowing our deeds to give us an inflated sense of importance.

Ultimately peace will come when we accept the true message of Christmas, "For unto you is born this day in the City of David, a Savior, which is Christ The Lord".

Once we accept the real meaning of Christmas, our view of our world and ourselves is forever changed. A changed heart will be the source of our peace.

As the bumper sticker said, "Let peace begin with me".

going away?

A couple people have asked why I've posted very little recently. Some probably think I've quietly faded into the night. That almost happened, but that time is apparently not quite yet.

I won't go into personal details but I came face to face with my own mortality three months ago. I had not felt well for some months and became violently ill in early September. Coincidentally I already had a doctor appointment scheduled. Within an hour of that appointment I was in the emergency room having a CT scan. The results of that scan indicated I may have a life threatening condition. 

I had emergency abdominal surgery that night. The next morning the doctor said what they thought they saw wasn't there after all. That was the good news. The bad news was they didn't know what was wrong. The next week was spent in the hospital with one day full of unforeseen complications. It was that evening I realized things were not going well.

It was during that night that I came to realize the faith I had for so long was really true. It's something I had always known but there was a quiet assurance that, no matter what happened, it was going to be all right.

You hear people talk about an epiphany, seeing the light or hearing voices. There was none of that. The nurse came in the next morning and asked why I felt so much better. It was as though I lay in that hospital room during the night with my mind playing sermons I'd heard over the years. I can still hear 1 John 4:4 even now, "the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.." 

It can be a pretty amazing feeling when you know that no matter what the future holds, your future is secure. I have to say it's also amazing when you live to tell about it. I am moved to tears even now to think about that time.

I still have days when I don't feel well, but I've gained some of the weight I lost and am becoming more active. One thing I do know; I will never look at life, or death, in quite the same way. I've said that before but this experience gives a different perspective. Much of what used to be important, really isn't. 

So here we are three days before Christmas. I think of my church, my faith, family and friends. I can't think of anything else I could ever need. As I have often said, when we think we have hit bottom, that may be our feet touching our foundation. That can be a pretty cool feeling, pretty cool indeed. The question becomes, how strong is our foundation?

The Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today, November 20th, is The Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day set aside to honor those transgender women and men who have lost their lives only because of who they are. We must not forget those who are walking through each day in a 'living death', barely surviving today and dreading the sunrise of tomorrow.

There are observances around the world this evening, including Charlotte, Greensboro, Raleigh and Myrtle Beach in the Carolinas.The list of names we read is long again this year. You can see them  here.

Below is the text of my remarks one year ago this evening. Unfortunately nothing has changed this last year.

If there is to be a better future, we must disturb the present.

If we speak eloquently of the quest for human dignity but lack the courage to put words into action, aren’t they no more than empty words?

If we cannot grant others that dignity which we would claim for ourselves, do we not do an injustice to ourselves and others?

We may wake up each morning wondering if this is the day that our true self will become apparent and if we will be the next to be judged as worthy of violence.

There are people in this room who have lost everything they had in order to be all they were meant to be. The miracle is in learning that our own dignity is worth the price.

Many of us spend a lifetime trying conform to what others think we should be, rather than who we were intended to be. There eventually comes a time when the need to be a real person takes precedence over all else. There comes that defining moment when we must take off the mask and become genuine. Before we can give the world our best, we must first give ourselves our best. We learn that it really is okay to be who we are, no matter who we are.

It is in these defining moments when we learn how to live, rather than to merely survive, when we feel that spark of hope that lies within each of us and come to the realization that our lives have a higher purpose than we ever dreamed. 

Tonight we stand upon the shoulders of those who have paved the way for us. Some day people will gather and speak of the progress we made, or the lack of it. 

History will be our final judge but above all, may no person have reason to ask, “Why did you wait so long to live?”

Charlotte Interfaith Connection

I posted recently that contributions at the Aids Walk last month went a long way towards stocking our toiletry pantry. We are at the point of readiness to begin coordinating with RAIN to distribute the items on a regular basis.

This outreach was the vision of my dear friend, Charley. RAIN has evolved from care for the dying to compassionate care for the living. The Charlotte Interfaith Connection shows again that when we begin an outreach, we never know what other doors will open and how we, and others, will be touched.

I visited with my dear friends in the Women Connecting For Justice group at Holy Covenant United Church of Christ this past Wednesday evening. It was exciting to see good friends for the first time in a while. Their contribution to our RAIN pantry is most appreciated. Holy Covenant UCC is one of the faith communities partnering with us in this outreach.

Tomorrow is my daughter's birthday. This past Friday was my ex wife's birthday. Unfortunately, I will not be able to speak with either of them. It will always be illogical that so many of us lose so much in order to be who we are. I think often of my friends where I worked 20 years. If any of you read this, know I miss you all. You have my continued respect and friendship.

We need to remind ourselves from time to time that so many people sacrifice most of who they are to conform to what others think they should be. We can do this to a degree, perhaps even for a lifetime. However, what we have traded eventually becomes evident. There comes that time when a person decides whether to take off the mask, or continue a day to day existence that doesn't even meet the definition of 'existence'. That is when we decide whether to really live. For me personally, the decision to not live was not an option.

Day of Action

Within the climate of acceptance we enjoy today, I often reflect on the progress we have made as transgender people in the 41 years since the Stonewall Riots.


Tuesday, May 25 was one of those times of comparison. Equality NC organized the Day of Action, an opportunity to sit down with our legislators in Raleigh, NC and share our views on the most pressing issues we face. To meet with the legislators is one of those opportunities we once would have never imagined.


Equally important was a series of workshops during the day on issues ranging from Advocacy 101 to the Aids Drug Assistance Program. For a complete overview of these, and other issues, visit the Equality NC website.


One session that struck a cord personally was 'Speaking With Legislators From a Faith Based Perspective'. The presenter was Jack McKinney, former pastor of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh. He made the point that we have allowed the most intolerant to take control of the playing field.

That statement speaks volumes. It's time for people of faith, and no small amount of courage, to leave the bleachers and get on the playing field. There is no question that most of the ostracism faced by LGBT people is a result of religion based bigotry.


Each of us carries our own set of personal biases, even if on a subconscious level. There comes a time for us, as Christians, to search our own heart and bring that prejudice into the light of day. To do otherwise would mean we ourselves are not living a life of authenticity.

  

Third anniversary of Sean Kennedy's murder

I have learned to be aware that when I attend one event, there is a strong likelihood that God will open another door to something equally, or more, significant.

In 2008, I visited the venue for the HRC gala in Charlotte, neither as a protestor, nor a guest, but for an Educational Initiative with my friend Angela. The occasion was only months after the ENDA debacle in which transgender inclusion had been dropped in hopes of getting a bill through congress. Our reason for being there was honorable and the Educational Initiative was a success.

The memory of that weekend centers on neither the gala nor ENDA, but on a chance meeting that grew into a friendship. We were invited to speak to a group of students from Campus Pride that morning. Also speaking was Elke Kennedy, mother of Sean Kennedy. Upon hearing both her passion and compassion, anything I had to say became insignificant. She spoke of standing strong in the cause of human rights, never wavering and accepting oneself.

Sean had been murdered in Greenville, SC less than a year earlier. As a young gay man, he was accosted leaving a local night spot. The blow to his face knocked him to the curb with enough force to separate his brain from the brain stem. Sean lived a few hours.

Within days, Elke had formed an organization dedicated to'ending the hate', Sean's Last Wish.

Today is the third anniversary of Sean's murder. Elke commemorated the day by attending the first Pride event in Charleston, SC, Sean's hometown. You can view the news coverage here. I spoke with her this evening and she is still excited about being in Charleston for their event. She is naturally sad, but her strength remains.

We have so often seen a tragedy turned into a force for good. Total strangers are moved to tears by the power of Elke's message. As I have often told her, no one can tell the story like a mother. I think God means it to be that way.

Charlotte Aids Walk

The AIDS Walk took place in Charlotte May 1st. I've been to a lot of Prides, but this was my first AIDS Walk. It's pretty amazing when approximately 2500 people come together for a worthy cause.

The Charlotte Interfaith Connection has partnered with RAIN (Regional Aids Interfaith Network) to maintain a pantry with toiletries which patients are not provided through other social services. There were two SUV's collecting toiletries from the participants at the Walk which means the pantry at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church is sufficiently stocked to give us a head start. We are seeking other faith communities to maintain the pantry one month each year.

The Carolinas Gender Odyssey was going to be a June event similar to other conferences around the country. Scheduled were breakout sessions, a talent show and a formal ball. I speak in the past tense as the planning committee has announced postponement of the event until next year. There are a number of reasons but the attendance clearly was not going to be as hoped.

Former world heavyweight wrestling champion, Gene Kiniski, passed away last month. I've written a few times that my friends don't know the side of me that has the abiding interest in the history of wrestling, unless they read this blog.

Gene has been discussed at length on the Wrestling Legends newsgroup. The conversation has had me thinking of our LGBT community. Sometimes I think everything leads me back to the LGBT community. In any case, the wrestling newsgroup has one characteristic I appreciate, courtesy and respect. Whether they were in the business, or just old time fans, everyone is held in the same high regard. I try and imagine what we could accomplish in the way of true LGBT unity if we did the same.

Recovering The Spirit -N- Me

This past weekend, there was a conference in Winston Salem, NC which is similar to Carolinas Gender Odyssey. Recovering The Spirit -N- Me was presented by Church of the Holy Spirit Fellowship. I was invited to make a few remarks during Sunday worship. It was an honor to be in worship with those good people. Wonderful things are happening in that church and the community. Below is a photo with my dear friend Krista (left) and her partner, Terri.

A transgender person was murdered in Charlotte, NC April 3. Read about it here. These things happen all too often, almost to the point of being routine. I think we will learn she was a trans woman living fulltime. Whether this was a bias motivated hate crime, we still don't know. I have already expressed a concern about rushing to judgment before we know all the facts. I have my strong opinion, but until we know, we risk our future credibility being put into question.

That becomes a concern, 'future credibility'. Transgender people often do to each other, the very thing we abhor. We stereotype each other and are unable to honor the diversity which we claim to embrace.

In the weeks after the Tony Alston murder, there was a discussion locally about whether a fund raising event called a 'drag race' was appropriate. I get it. These fundraisers happen all the time. I do think it's not the best PR, but it is what it is. Within days, the issue became not about the fund raiser, but the right of respected transgender people to express a strongly felt opinion without without their integrity being called into question, or accused of making anti gay comments.

A lot of transgender people have been knocked around pretty hard in this world, as has the gay community. I  long ago lost count of the number of people who desire a position of leadership, but when crunch time came, they were unable to honor an opinion different from theirs. The result is always the same. If a person is not what they say they are, it always comes to the surface and is seen for what it is. We will always be judged by our actions. This is exactly as it should be.

The National Day of Silence - April 16, 2010

Friday, April 16th, is officially the National Day of Silence observance, a day set aside on high school and college campuses around the nation to pause in silence to remember those who have been the victim of bullying or hate crimes.

Winthrop University in Rock Hill, SC had their observance yesterday and last night. I was invited to visit with members of GloBal, the Gay-Straight Alliance and it was everything I knew it would be. It was an honor to be with them when it was time to Break the Silence. There were laughter and tears and it's okay that some of the tears were mine. When I look in the eyes of these young men and women, I see the courage that is going to change the future. I like to say they are the people who are going to make the future become the present.

I find it ironic that when we have supposedly mature LGBT people still trying to decide how, or even whether, to come together as one real community, these people have already done it. When I was at Winthrop two years ago for the observance, the photo I took with the students became my favorite. Most of them have graduated, but the photo we took last night is again my favorite, not because I am in it, but who is in it with me. They said it was cool to put the photo on my blog and I appreciate that. I hope to see you all again soon! As always, click on the photo to enlarge.

While last night was with the university students at Winthrop, exactly 24 hours earlier I was at the second Gay & Gray Progressive Dinner sponsored by the Centralina Area Agency on Aging. Someone joked with me about the dichotomy between the two events. I see none at all. When you have people interested in advocacy for the marginalized, I do not see age as a criteria. As I said at both events, the time we have left is not the real issue. It is what we do with that time left. The concept is the same whether a person is 21 or 71.

I initially became involved with the Area Agency on Aging last April when I was the luncheon speaker at their conference. I have told them many times that day became more than an important speech. It opened my mind to the needs of LGBT seniors and issues we all will face as we age. They have some interesting events ahead and I'm thrilled whenever I can be with them. Linda, Debi and Marilyn have become good friends. Their compassion for a marginalized segment of an already marginalized community is more important than most of us even realize.

Afternoons with Joyce

There is a book titled 'Tuesdays With Morrie', the lessons learned by a former student as his professor battles ALS, I find myself thinking about someday writing 'Afternoons With Joyce'.

I met Joyce several months ago during one of my marathon days of coffee and writing. We struck up a conversation and became fast friends. Joyce is originally from London, survived The Blitz and is a wonderful conversationalist. Our topics range from world affairs to cooking, to child rearing. She either waits for me, or I wait for her, depending on who gets there first. She's older than I am, which is saying a lot. I find her intellect so refreshing. I've enjoyed getting to know her daughter and grandchildren.

She spends summers in Canada with her husband and will be leaving within the next couple weeks. We will keep in touch and I will do something special for her when she comes back to Charlotte next fall to spend winter with her daughter. She is healthy and I pray that continues well into the future

Certain things put life into perspective. I spent a lifetime planning my transition. There were all the years of planning and worry, the electrolysis, counseling, a number of surgeries and all the losses so many of us endure. Then I realized what it was all about, and it's really pretty simple. The 'Afternoons With Joyce' were all I ever wanted. I mean that in the sense of living a normal life, having friends, church activities and all the things that give life meaning. Has it been worth it? You betcha.


My good friend, and favorite hairdresser, Swooz Glenn, got to know Charlotte Mayor Anthony Foxx during her own outreach work. She had her photo made with His Honor this past Monday. I told her I wanted to put it in my blog and she said that was cool. If you are close to Charlotte and want a good hair stylist who is a wonderful person, let me know and I will connect you with Swooz.

I'm doing more public speaking events these days, something I dearly love. This past Friday, I did a presentation at the Southern Organization for Human Services conference in Charlotte. It's important to speak to the helping professionals on LGBT issues. Their attendance is indicative of their own commitment to diversity. A social worker often asks what to do if a client has LGBT issues. My answer is to remember the limitations of your own knowledge and to be aware of your resources. Many of us seek multiple therapists before finding someone who has even heard of the SOC or is knowledgeable in hormone therapy.

I don't take many photos these days. A common theme I have observed is that before going full time, we often take all the photos we can. It's sort of like a validation of who we are. Once post transition, that need for validation is no longer there. Living one's life is it's own validation. Anyway, I took a photo before the conference Friday. I'm not fond of it, but several friends said I seem so content and happy. When we are able to not worry how we look in each photo, life is much less stress filled. For what it's worth, the photo is below.

'You are who you are'

I have one particular coffee house where I go constantly. I joke with them that it's like Cheers, except you drive home wide awake. I've become very good friends there with Ronda, one of the employees. She gave me a poem titled, 'You are who you are for a reason'. It applies not only to the LGBT community, but to a world seeking answers. I want to repeat it here.

You are who you are for a reason. You're part of an intricate plan. You're a precious, perfect and unique design called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason. Our God made no mistake. He knit you together within the womb; you're just the person He wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose, no matter how you may feel. They were custom designed with God's plan in mind and they bear The Master's seal.

Know that the trauma you faced was not easy, and God wept that it hurt you so. But it was allowed to shape your heart so that in His likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason. You've been formed by The Master's hand. You are who you are, beloved, because there is a God!

Russell Keffer

I told Ronda I wanted to enter this in my blog. It speaks to the overwhelming depression that exists within the transgender and LGB community. I thought of Christine Daniels and the segment Bryant Gumbel did on HBO Real Sports this month. This is gut wrenching stuff. People have lost everything, only for the sake of being who they are.

But the reality is....we can join the ranks of the over comers by wrapping our minds around the concept that 'we are who we are for a reason'. Thanks, Ronda!

Carolinas Gender Odyssey and other events

During the weekend of June 3rd, the first event of it's kind is going to take place in the Carolinas, Carolinas Gender Odyssey. Take a look at our website and the list of events. Then don't forget to register.

A lot of people remember the Magnolia Ball that was held in Charlotte for many years. A different group was the sponsor and it drew people from all over the southeast and beyond. If the Magnolia Ball was all that took place that weekend, it would be huge. Factor in the Friday night talent show, Saturday workshops, art display, Sunday brunch and it's a monumental event.


I've written about the Gay & Gray events at the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center which are sponsored by the Centralina Area Agency on Aging. They are beginning a series of Progressive Dinners this coming Tuesday.

If you live close to Charlotte and would like to join us, we'd love to have you. You don't have to be either gay (or transgender) or gray to attend. Friends and allies are welcome. Visit the website and the link will take you to complete information.

March 19, 2010

The last weekend in February was the Building a Welcoming Church workshop in Charlotte. This three day event is sponsored by the Institute For Welcoming Resources. I have often said I can think of no more important outreach. I had the privilege of doing a Saturday morning presentation on what it means to be transgender. The one hour session lasted longer than planned, but everyone seemed interested in learning.

The Charlotte Interfaith Connection is the result of the last workshop I attended in 2008. I can't wait to see what will come from this one. One of the best parts of the weekend is networking with like minded people from around the country.

Charlotte Interfaith Connection is beginning a cooperative effort with RAIN - Regional Aids Interfaith Network. There are a number of toiletries for the patients that are not covered by the various social programs. Our goal will be to fill this need by means of a well stocked pantry.

I had a phone call from the NC LGBT newspaper, Q-Notes, a few weeks ago. They said they were doing an article on the movers and shakers in the North Carolina LGBT community. My first question was why were they calling me? Anyhow, the article turned out okay and without any misquotes. I always worry about print interviews, but these are good people. I realized I'm past worrying about how I look in photos these days. You can read the article here.

Last weekend was my first board meeting with Equality NC. It is going to be a pleasure to serve with this organization. We had a meet & greet social downtown Friday evening which gave the new board members an opportunity to get to know each other and the other members. Stay tuned for some good stuff coming from this, particularly the Day of Action taking place May 25.

We're having a Community Roundtable at the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center March 23. Our topic this month is LGBT and Reconciling Faith. We've invited a panel of leaders from a number of faith communities in Charlotte.

I said a couple months ago that I don't believe in burn out. I do believe in making best use of time. When I look at the calendar for the last few months and beyond, it's getting full, but I see a common theme of outreach. It all becomes inter connected, and that can only be a good thing.

Melanie had a rushed gall bladder operation last week. I don't use the word 'emergency', but it was pretty close. This surgery is often outpatient now but she was kept overnight and beyond. Her pain has left and she's almost back to normal. I spent the night on a couch in her room. Not only is my makeup the 24 hour kind, it went about 36 hours.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day always holds bittersweet memories, often leaning towards the 'bitter'; not as in angry, but melancholy. My marriage broke up ten years ago this day. I had already planned for a church related activity, but it also helped lighten my mood.

To my amazement, Facebook also lightens my mood. I never posted to these groups until the last few months. I must say, it's entertaining to read what acquaintances are doing hour by hour. I still can't see the lure of Farmville or the others. I woke up one morning and someone had tried to send me a supply of fuel for my tractor. Strange..


After all these years, I still see the same thread of conversation on some of the Yahoo groups. Specifically, how do we feel about other people seeing us as part of the LGB community, or even being considered 'transgender'.

The real question is not so much what uninformed people think of us, but who do we say we are? More importantly, are we really who we say we are? I speak not only in terms of gender identity, but integrity. With so many pressing issues facing us and our world, for the answer to be 'no', would be disastrous. Those of us involved in outreach and support will be judged not by what we say, but by what we do. It should be no other way.

The Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center will present a Community Roundtable Thursday evening - the topic, 'Aging and the LGBT Community'. The Centralina Area Agency on Aging is hosting a series of Progressive Dinners beginning in March. This week is intended to be a segue to these dinners. I'm not sure the community in Charlotte realizes the importance of the Agency on Aging reaching out as yet. As we spread the word, I hope, and believe, we will raise awareness.


I'm going to have another hour or so of electrolysis. It's typical to see a little regrowth and I have a little on my neck. I can remember when I joked with my electrologist that I wouldn't live long enough to finish. Fortunately, I found someone who is top notch. I'm very selective about who I refer to her, but if you are near Charlotte and want a true professional, let me know. I'm a little protective of her in some ways, but you do that with friends.

February 4, 2010

I don't talk a lot about my personal life. I think a few acquaintances wonder if I even have a personal life. Actually I do.

As I read over previous posts, I have talked more than I realized about refocusing and redirection. I suspect that means this has been more important than I even knew.

I wrote a few months ago that I had joined Holy Trinity Lutheran Church. A church home has always been important to me and I thought I had already found one. It goes to show God has plans for us when we least expect them. By virtue of our Charlotte Interfaith Connection, I was led to Holy Trinity.

I do a fair amount of public speaking, mostly to university classes, civic groups and at the corporate level when the occasion arises. This coming Sunday I will be preaching in morning worship.

Our pastor told us that preparing for our sermon would be a transformative experience, and so it has been. This has become a form of worship for me personally and thus is very special. I realized very quickly after joining that my new church home was the catalyst for that new sense of direction and even energy. I get emotional when I try to explain how thankful I am for God's direction. But very thankful I am.


Not many people know I have two grown children and one grandson. I saw my grandson for the first and only time last year. During the last six months I've had to deal with a number of issues concerning my ex wife. It's such a common story you could almost insert different names and it would apply to many friends. That doesn't make it any easier. I learned long ago that if you do your best, it always works out for the best. It's one of those immutable laws that can't be broken. That's what I'm counting on anyway.


I once felt that not having a partner is the missing piece of my life puzzle. I see it differently now. I think all the pieces have come into place. We've had conversation on the gender listserv this week about family. I think it's like we've heard, there are two kinds of family. Sometimes the one you gather through life is quite sufficient. In any case, as with a new church home, God sends surprises when we least expect them. I joke with people that my biological clock is ticking.


Only a few friends know that I have a deep interest in the history of professional wrestling, the period beginning in the early 1900's and continuing into the mid 80's. This is a much more fascinating business than most people know. But I digress.

Former World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion, Jack Brisco, passed away three days ago at age 68. Jack had been in ill health following open heart surgery.

There are a few guys in the business who can actually wrestle. Jack was what we call a pure wrestler. He won the 1965 NCAA championship while at Oklahoma State Univ. His series of matches in the seventies against Dory Funk, Jr. remain classics to this day. I was fortunate to be at ringside for a number of those matches and often think of them 35 years later.

I was moved to tears when I heard of Jack's death. As time passes, the legends are becoming fewer, but the memories remain. Rest in peace, Jack.

Equality NC

I have often talked about the importance of maintaining a balance in life and recognizing what is important. I don't believe in burnout. I do believe in new focus when it is appropriate.

I was recently elected to, and have accepted, a position on the board of directors of Equality NC. This will most definitely provide an avenue of new focusing.

It is a privilege to have an opportunity to work with so many people whom I hold in the highest personal regard. I've been part of the ENC transgender task force for sometime now. To serve on the board is an exceptional honor. An overview of the ENC website is indicative of the organization's commitment to the cause of human dignity.

Our annual weekend retreat, coupled with a meet and greet, was scheduled this past weekend in Charlotte. Due to icy roads, the event was postponed until early March.

This is going to be an exciting year on a number of levels. As we say so often, good things sometimes come to people who least expect it. It's enough to make a person excited.

domestic violence and other issues

We have held a series of community roundtable discussions at the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center. The purpose is to discuss issues pertaining to the community that seldom receive attention. Last night's topic was 'Domestic Violence and the LGBT Community'. Although this issue does not affect me personally, we heard stories of people who are affected. Approximately 1 in 4 LGBT people will be abused by an intimate partner. We know the victim often feels like the perpetrator which only continues the cycle. We are going to pursue this subject but if it touches your life, there is help. Visit Project Rainbow Net for further information.

It has been several months since the suicide of L.A. Times sportswriter, Christine Daniels. A portion of her eulogy has been uploaded to Youtube. You can watch it here. Her suicide happened one week after the Transgender Day of Remembrance. I often think of her coming out letter. "It took forty years and a million tears." So many of us can relate to that.

We've talked a lot about Amanda Simpson being the first transgender person to receive a presidential appointment. This is a wonderful for our community and there is no one more qualified or deserving than Amanda. Good things happen to good people.

David Letterman recently did a spot making fun of Amanda, which is pretty typical. Letterman has turned into an angry old man in the last few years, which is unfortunate for him. A lot of us were understandably upset over this bit, although I've seen much worse. However, some of us in the LGBT community have an issue with situational ethics.

There is seldom a night when Letterman doesn't rake Sarah Palin, or whoever happens to be the target du jour, over the coals. Our response to those routines is the sound of silence. If our community is to be taken seriously in the fight for human dignity, we need to understand that dignity applies to all.

We must wrap our minds around the fact that if someone disagrees with us, they are not necessarily evil or stupid. When we need it most, our integrity may be all we have left. Situational ethics not only causes us to appear disingenuous; we are.