Sometimes I think things happen in sequence to send us a little message here and there. One of my favorite simple pleasures is to spend time with coffee and some reading in Starbucks.
The other day I was enjoying my hour of coffee, and reading a womens' daily devotional Melanie gave me. The title is "Woman, Thou Art Loosed", by Bishop T. D. Jakes. It contains a lot of meaningful faith based messages which I find inspirational.
In any case, you don't see books of this genre, or by this author just every day. When I left Starbucks, I stopped by the library to check new releases. The first new book that met my eye was another by Bishop T. D. Jakes. The title, "God's Message for the Single Woman". I suppose it's appropriate, and perhaps a bit of synchronicity. As I think back over time, there are many such small events, and this is probably true for all of us.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Individual Rights
Even with the positive media exposure our community has received lately, and the increased acceptance we like to believe exists, things still happen to let us know there is a long way to go.
A couple weeks ago, two friends went to a fast food restaurant and were refused service by two employees. As they patiently waited at the counter to place their order, the two male cashiers went to the rear of the restaurant, turned their back and intentionally ignored them. Eventually, a female worker came to the front and took their order. Big whoop de do!
It normally takes a lot to get my dander up, but this one did. I mean, come on now, Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence that "we are endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights, among which are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness".
Um, excuse me! Having a sandwich and coffee in our chosen gender role is one of the ways a number of us pursue happiness.
I personally went back to this place a few days ago. Apparantly, these two young men were not working that day. I am normally a very retiring person. I have to say when I walked in there, I felt like Clint Eastwood. I wanted to say "go ahead punk, make my day". I am anything but confrontational, but I had a right to sit in a booth and enjoy my iced tea, which I did.
In this day and age in America, discrimination in any form is simply unacceptable. I don't believe this one is over yet.
Back again to the Oscars this past Sunday, I find it to be a commentary on the state of Hollywood, and the world, when a 'song' about a pimp and his hookers won 'Best Song'. But hey, that's just me.
A couple weeks ago, two friends went to a fast food restaurant and were refused service by two employees. As they patiently waited at the counter to place their order, the two male cashiers went to the rear of the restaurant, turned their back and intentionally ignored them. Eventually, a female worker came to the front and took their order. Big whoop de do!
It normally takes a lot to get my dander up, but this one did. I mean, come on now, Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence that "we are endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights, among which are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness".
Um, excuse me! Having a sandwich and coffee in our chosen gender role is one of the ways a number of us pursue happiness.
I personally went back to this place a few days ago. Apparantly, these two young men were not working that day. I am normally a very retiring person. I have to say when I walked in there, I felt like Clint Eastwood. I wanted to say "go ahead punk, make my day". I am anything but confrontational, but I had a right to sit in a booth and enjoy my iced tea, which I did.
In this day and age in America, discrimination in any form is simply unacceptable. I don't believe this one is over yet.
Back again to the Oscars this past Sunday, I find it to be a commentary on the state of Hollywood, and the world, when a 'song' about a pimp and his hookers won 'Best Song'. But hey, that's just me.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
March 8, 2006
I watched the Oscars Sunday evening for the first time ever. Of course, I had an ulterior motive in hoping Felicity Huffman would win 'best actress' for 'Transamerica'. Although I was hoping she would, I was not surprised she didn't.
That fact does not diminish the impact this motion picture has in portraying a transsexual as simply a person who is seeking happiness. As Dolly Parton sings, "questions I have many, answers but a few". How true that is, and applies to all of us. (although oftentimes we won't admit we have more questions than answers)
The impact of this movie was demonstrated by the Larry King show a couple weeks ago, in which there were a number of transsexual panelists. There have been others. It may not be an overstatement to say we took a quantum leap in outreach.
With my change in employment, there is only one of the old 'gang' with whom I'm keeping in touch. We spoke today and will meet for lunch one day soon.
That fact does not diminish the impact this motion picture has in portraying a transsexual as simply a person who is seeking happiness. As Dolly Parton sings, "questions I have many, answers but a few". How true that is, and applies to all of us. (although oftentimes we won't admit we have more questions than answers)
The impact of this movie was demonstrated by the Larry King show a couple weeks ago, in which there were a number of transsexual panelists. There have been others. It may not be an overstatement to say we took a quantum leap in outreach.
With my change in employment, there is only one of the old 'gang' with whom I'm keeping in touch. We spoke today and will meet for lunch one day soon.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
'Getting on with it'
In my post of January 1st, I spoke of the new year as the end of the beginning. I didn't know the future would come upon me so quickly.
After Christmas, I wrote of Melanie caring for Jean, an elderly lady whom she met at a senior center. Jean became very ill Feb. 1st. Melanie kept her vow to Jean and stayed by her side in the hospital. As I watched Jean's life slip away, I emotionally relived my own mother's death six years ago, as did Melanie. Jean's room was only a few doors from mom's room.
In those days and hours, there is time for personal reflection. Melanie whispered in Jean's ear that it was okay to 'let go'. The dear woman did let go the morning of Feb. 4th.
It occurred to me that 'letting go' can have many meanings throughout a lifetime. There are times when we must 'let go' friends, family, possessions, careers and eventually, even life itself. In 'letting go' we often gain much more than we have lost. I have no doubt that in 'letting go', Jean is now with our Heavenly Father.
I underwent a job change in the month of February. I had been in an extremely stressful situation the last several years. During the evening of Feb. 2nd, in the darkened hospital room, I realized the old saying about the 'final straw' was gradually taking shape at my workplace. I thought of the lessons of 9/11, of which I speak so often; time is such a precious commodity and it is incumbent upon each of us to live life to it's fullest. I realized in those wee hours that it was time for me to 'let go'.
The next morning, I tendered my resignation. I was able to take a month off work and have arranged new employment.
Today as I was leaving church, I asked myself if life could get any better for me than it is right now. I have no doubt I made the right decision, irrespective of change never being easy for me. I do believe life will get even better. There are goals yet to be achieved.
The evening of January 31st, I and three other members of Kappa Beta, a support group, visited a sociology class at The University of North Carolina at Charlotte. This continues a tradition begun by another member 15 years ago. In his opening remarks, the professor spoke of a phone call he received almost 16 years ago. The caller asked the professor if he was versed on transgender issues. In the last 15 years, countless students know a great deal more about a subject which remains an enigma to so many.
During those remarks, I found myself wondering how many students have been shown we are not what you see on Jerry Springer. I wondered how many young people were dealing with the very issues of guilt and self doubt that we have, and were given hope.
I probably too often use the analogy that 'we stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us'. It happens to be true. That phone call by Bobbi Renee, almost 16 years ago, began an outreach that continues today.
The class visit probably meant more to us than it did to most of the students. There are countless others in our community doing infinitely more in the way of education and outreach than we did. The level of acceptance we enjoy today is sum total of effort by many unsung men and women. It is an awesome feeling to be even a small part of that sum total.
Each of us gave a short presentation on our lives, followed by a question and answer session with the students. We were extremely well received and were able to visit personally with several students after class.
After Christmas, I wrote of Melanie caring for Jean, an elderly lady whom she met at a senior center. Jean became very ill Feb. 1st. Melanie kept her vow to Jean and stayed by her side in the hospital. As I watched Jean's life slip away, I emotionally relived my own mother's death six years ago, as did Melanie. Jean's room was only a few doors from mom's room.
In those days and hours, there is time for personal reflection. Melanie whispered in Jean's ear that it was okay to 'let go'. The dear woman did let go the morning of Feb. 4th.
It occurred to me that 'letting go' can have many meanings throughout a lifetime. There are times when we must 'let go' friends, family, possessions, careers and eventually, even life itself. In 'letting go' we often gain much more than we have lost. I have no doubt that in 'letting go', Jean is now with our Heavenly Father.
I underwent a job change in the month of February. I had been in an extremely stressful situation the last several years. During the evening of Feb. 2nd, in the darkened hospital room, I realized the old saying about the 'final straw' was gradually taking shape at my workplace. I thought of the lessons of 9/11, of which I speak so often; time is such a precious commodity and it is incumbent upon each of us to live life to it's fullest. I realized in those wee hours that it was time for me to 'let go'.
The next morning, I tendered my resignation. I was able to take a month off work and have arranged new employment.
Today as I was leaving church, I asked myself if life could get any better for me than it is right now. I have no doubt I made the right decision, irrespective of change never being easy for me. I do believe life will get even better. There are goals yet to be achieved.
The evening of January 31st, I and three other members of Kappa Beta, a support group, visited a sociology class at The University of North Carolina at Charlotte. This continues a tradition begun by another member 15 years ago. In his opening remarks, the professor spoke of a phone call he received almost 16 years ago. The caller asked the professor if he was versed on transgender issues. In the last 15 years, countless students know a great deal more about a subject which remains an enigma to so many.
During those remarks, I found myself wondering how many students have been shown we are not what you see on Jerry Springer. I wondered how many young people were dealing with the very issues of guilt and self doubt that we have, and were given hope.
I probably too often use the analogy that 'we stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us'. It happens to be true. That phone call by Bobbi Renee, almost 16 years ago, began an outreach that continues today.
The class visit probably meant more to us than it did to most of the students. There are countless others in our community doing infinitely more in the way of education and outreach than we did. The level of acceptance we enjoy today is sum total of effort by many unsung men and women. It is an awesome feeling to be even a small part of that sum total.
Each of us gave a short presentation on our lives, followed by a question and answer session with the students. We were extremely well received and were able to visit personally with several students after class.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Go Panthers!
Only a personal note this evening, Go Panthers! I had a bad feeling about the Giants going into the game yesterday, but John Fox had the guys ready. Only two games away from the Super Bowl!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
The End of the Beginning
2005 was a good year for me. It was a time of new friendships, reconciliation with family members and a realization of the things in life that count most. The year was not without a good portion of disappointments, but no life is without failure and stumbling. Without these valleys, we would not appreciate the peaks.
When my separation took place in 2001, Melanie gave me a plaque that simply stated "if we cannot find peace within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elswhere". I feel an inner peace which was not there at this time last year. It is a feeling life is on the right course. It is a good feeling.
I have never made new years resolutions. I never keep them anyway, and they are largely forgotten by the middle of January.
Rather, as I reflect on the past year, and the things for which I am thankful, the course becomes clear for the coming year.
There is much to appreciate. I have some of the most amazing friends a person could hope for. I had a thorough physical last spring, including a stress test. The results were perfect, allowing me to make some definitive plans for the continuation of life's journey.
I made a quantum leap in electrolysis in '05. I truly believe I have found the premier electrologist on this planet, perhaps even the universe......if electrolysis is even necessary elsewhere in the universe. She has the URL to my website, so if she should read this, she already knows how much she is appreciated.
A church home is very important to me. After much searching, I recently joined the United Church of Christ. The motto of UCC, "God Is Still Speaking", is very relevant. As I said in a previous post, I have come to the realization that if I live my life as a Christian first, and a transexual secondly, those things which are right and good will be achieved......and there is much to be achieved.
I view new years eve as 'the end of the beginning'. Life until this day is the beginning. Now the beginning has ended, and the future is at hand.
Let's get on with it.
"Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."
Helen Keller
When my separation took place in 2001, Melanie gave me a plaque that simply stated "if we cannot find peace within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elswhere". I feel an inner peace which was not there at this time last year. It is a feeling life is on the right course. It is a good feeling.
I have never made new years resolutions. I never keep them anyway, and they are largely forgotten by the middle of January.
Rather, as I reflect on the past year, and the things for which I am thankful, the course becomes clear for the coming year.
There is much to appreciate. I have some of the most amazing friends a person could hope for. I had a thorough physical last spring, including a stress test. The results were perfect, allowing me to make some definitive plans for the continuation of life's journey.
I made a quantum leap in electrolysis in '05. I truly believe I have found the premier electrologist on this planet, perhaps even the universe......if electrolysis is even necessary elsewhere in the universe. She has the URL to my website, so if she should read this, she already knows how much she is appreciated.
A church home is very important to me. After much searching, I recently joined the United Church of Christ. The motto of UCC, "God Is Still Speaking", is very relevant. As I said in a previous post, I have come to the realization that if I live my life as a Christian first, and a transexual secondly, those things which are right and good will be achieved......and there is much to be achieved.
I view new years eve as 'the end of the beginning'. Life until this day is the beginning. Now the beginning has ended, and the future is at hand.
Let's get on with it.
"Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."
Helen Keller
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Roxy
Christmas was totally stress free this year, except for a little excitement the day after Christmas.
Melanie does volunteer work with the elderly, and has worked with Jean a number of years. Jean recently lost her little dog, Libby. I'm sure there was an emptiness in her heart at Christmas.
The animal shelter was closed Christmas Eve. Melanie made a phone call and, when they learned the circumstance, they opened just for her on Christmas Eve. She found a cute little Jack Russell terrior named Roxy. She was told Roxy had been mistreated in the past and all she needed is tender loving care.
They took care of all the papers and several of the workers went to the car to send Melanie and Roxy on their way. It was so emotional, and the true spirit of Christmas, Melanie said they all had a good cry right there in the parking lot.
Roxy was fine, but somehow got loose Christmas night. Melanie rushed to Jean's mobile home park and was searching for Roxy by flashlight until almost midnight, with no luck.
I went over with her the next morning, hoping we could corrall the dog. We walked and ran until 2:00 PM. We were expecting the police to show up at any minute to see what we were up to. We spent the day crouching behind bushes and automobiles, hoping the dog would come close enough to grab. We were crouched behind my car. Melanie looked at me and said, "you come here often?" The girl never ceases to totally crack me up.
She finally had the idea of putting some food in her car and leaving the door open. Sure enough, Roxy hopped in the car, and I ran over and closed the door. I saw how traumatized the dog had been. She literally climbed under the dashboard and lodged herself. I put on gloves and had to pull her out.
Roxy is fine now and will have a good home. I got plenty of exercise that day, which was also a good thing.
Below is a photo of Roxy immediately after I closed the car door.
Melanie does volunteer work with the elderly, and has worked with Jean a number of years. Jean recently lost her little dog, Libby. I'm sure there was an emptiness in her heart at Christmas.
The animal shelter was closed Christmas Eve. Melanie made a phone call and, when they learned the circumstance, they opened just for her on Christmas Eve. She found a cute little Jack Russell terrior named Roxy. She was told Roxy had been mistreated in the past and all she needed is tender loving care.
They took care of all the papers and several of the workers went to the car to send Melanie and Roxy on their way. It was so emotional, and the true spirit of Christmas, Melanie said they all had a good cry right there in the parking lot.
Roxy was fine, but somehow got loose Christmas night. Melanie rushed to Jean's mobile home park and was searching for Roxy by flashlight until almost midnight, with no luck.
I went over with her the next morning, hoping we could corrall the dog. We walked and ran until 2:00 PM. We were expecting the police to show up at any minute to see what we were up to. We spent the day crouching behind bushes and automobiles, hoping the dog would come close enough to grab. We were crouched behind my car. Melanie looked at me and said, "you come here often?" The girl never ceases to totally crack me up.
She finally had the idea of putting some food in her car and leaving the door open. Sure enough, Roxy hopped in the car, and I ran over and closed the door. I saw how traumatized the dog had been. She literally climbed under the dashboard and lodged herself. I put on gloves and had to pull her out.
Roxy is fine now and will have a good home. I got plenty of exercise that day, which was also a good thing.
Below is a photo of Roxy immediately after I closed the car door.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Christmas Thoughts
I find myself reflecting on the meaning of Christmas more than usual this year. For me personally, this was possibly the most fulfilling Christmas ever. I even enjoyed Christmas music more than usual. I did manage to hear "Feliz Navidad" only once, so that was a blessing.
This was the year I reconciled with my two children, not having seen them in several years. I left two voices messages during the holidays to invite them over, anticipating no response. My daughter did call and said she would love to come. The call from my son came the next day. For anyone who knows me personally, you realize this was a monumental event.
I was on somewhat an emotional edge, but was proud of myself for maintaing my composure. Until that is, I asked how the dog was. The little Sheltie, Samantha, whom I loved so passed away several months ago. I suppose I was destined to 'lose it' during the evening. Even so, I did relatively well until they left.
Cristmas Eve was a candlelight service and communion at the United Church of Christ I have joined. It was such a lovely service and made Christmas very real.
I also attended the Chrismas morning services. Although there were fewer people than Christmas Eve, it was a lovely service, nonetheless. I talked with my son again Christmas evening. This sounds insignificant, but it represents a reconciliation of which I had only dreamed.
I was speaking with a lady in church Christmas morning. She made the observation that God perfects situations in His own time. I believe this is true. I have long known if we do what we feel is right in our heart, situations will eventually work out for the best. I think in a lot of lives, mine included, we get off the track. Our hearts may know what is right, but we stray.
I will share more about my church and my beliefs in future entries. Suffice it to say for now, I am of the mindset that if I think of myself as a Christian first, and a transexual secondly, the things that are genuinely right for me will come to pass. It's a matter of priorities, a lesson it has taken me a lifetime to learn.
This was the year I reconciled with my two children, not having seen them in several years. I left two voices messages during the holidays to invite them over, anticipating no response. My daughter did call and said she would love to come. The call from my son came the next day. For anyone who knows me personally, you realize this was a monumental event.
I was on somewhat an emotional edge, but was proud of myself for maintaing my composure. Until that is, I asked how the dog was. The little Sheltie, Samantha, whom I loved so passed away several months ago. I suppose I was destined to 'lose it' during the evening. Even so, I did relatively well until they left.
Cristmas Eve was a candlelight service and communion at the United Church of Christ I have joined. It was such a lovely service and made Christmas very real.
I also attended the Chrismas morning services. Although there were fewer people than Christmas Eve, it was a lovely service, nonetheless. I talked with my son again Christmas evening. This sounds insignificant, but it represents a reconciliation of which I had only dreamed.
I was speaking with a lady in church Christmas morning. She made the observation that God perfects situations in His own time. I believe this is true. I have long known if we do what we feel is right in our heart, situations will eventually work out for the best. I think in a lot of lives, mine included, we get off the track. Our hearts may know what is right, but we stray.
I will share more about my church and my beliefs in future entries. Suffice it to say for now, I am of the mindset that if I think of myself as a Christian first, and a transexual secondly, the things that are genuinely right for me will come to pass. It's a matter of priorities, a lesson it has taken me a lifetime to learn.
Friday, December 16, 2005
The Iraqi election, Transamerica (the movie)
The election in Iraq was held yesterday. Irrespective of my personal view on whether invading Iraq was right or wrong, as I view photos of people who had courage to vote in the face of danger, it brings home the fact of how fortunate we are in this country.
'Freedom isn't free'. Freedom entails courage and sacrifice. We tend to take for granted that the basic freedoms we enjoy were purchased with the blood and tears of generations of brave human beings. When I saw the above photo of an Iraqi woman who had just voted, I saw pride in her eyes for being able to do something we have come to consider a fundamental right.
As transgendered individuals, whatever our place on the gender path, we have a fundamental right to be proud of who we are. Our right to self expression is one the freedoms for which there has been a high price. I believe we have an obligation to take pride within ourselves in being who we are, perhaps even an obligation to the community.
It is an often used phrase that we stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us. The level of acceptance we enjoy in society today is the result of the courage and sacrifice of so many brothers and sisters, most of whom are unsung heroes. When we think of our freedom, their legacy deserves to be remembered.
(photo above courtesy 'bluemeany') href="http://bluemeany.diaryland.com/electionday.html">
On a different note, Transamerica - the movie (http://www.transamerica-movie.com/) starring Felicity Hufffman (Desperate Housewives), who plays the title role of Bree, a transexual woman in pursuit of her dream.
This movie has been nominated for two Golden Globe awards, including Felicity Huffman for best actress. In viewing the trailers, I find several scenes that strike rather close to my heart.
This is an instance where the transexual role as portrayed by a genetic woman is extremely well done. Scheduled for release 12/23/05.
The Ryan White Story
The Ryan White story has been widely publicized. This was a young man who contracted HIV at the age of 13 from blood products used in treatment of his hemophilia.
During a time when HIV was not fully understood, Ryan and his family went through a a frightening amount of persecution. He was expelled from school in his hometown of Kokomo, IN and was ostracized by his friends. His mother was even the subject of rumors that she was somehow the cause of his illness.
Ryan's bravery during his ordeal was a source of strength to his family and led to increased public awareness of a misunderstood subject. What happened to this young man could have happened to anyone, given the lack of knowledge in the early 1980's.
Ryan's mom, Ms Jeanne White-Ginder continues the outreach begun by her son and gave a presentation at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte the evening of December 3rd. It was an emotional presentation, and also eye opening. There were more than a few tears that evening. It left a definite impact on me personally.
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